Just Another Day at the Beach...

His Abundance...My Cup Runneth Over!

2011-09-13T12:27:00.028-05:00

As I sat & read over my last post, which admittedly was written far too long ago, I hear my own words of anticipation of what the year ahead would bring. It has been an amazing year & I am quick to praise & thank God for every bit of it!

We did indeed find a new home, well to be truthful, GOD found us a new home! It most assuredly fell into our laps & is perfect. We have used every inch of it over the last few months celebrating family events, welcoming friends & family & taking stock of just how awesome our God truly is. Norm & have to pinch ourselves when we see what He has provided to us! I uttered these words to Norm as summer was winding down that this truly has been the best summer I have had in more years than I can count. To have a place that is our own, to be able to welcome all those we love into it, to have a place of privacy & peace of mind is such a beautiful gift. Words cannot express our gratitude!

This year brought my son Alex's engagement to his beautiful girlfriend Jen! Hence, one of the family events we were privileged to celebrate in our new home. We could not be happier for them! They are a sweet, loving & fun couple & I pray that God would bless them both as they clasp hands & head down this road together. I pray that they always remember that they have so many people who love them & that no matter what life brings, they are not along this journey alone.

My daughter has just entered her senior year of college. That completely blows my mind! Alex turned 24 this week & Sam will be 21 the next. How is this possible? As I said in my last post, life marches on! We are so excited for Sam as she makes plans for what's next, but are grateful that she views this year as something special, something she doesn't want to just "get through". She is embracing this time in her life & is looking with anticipation & a certain amount of anxiety at what comes next. She has many ideas about what she'd like to "do with her life" & I pray she explores them all. I also pray that she would lean on God & HIS direction for her life. We make our plans, but He directs our paths! She is smart, beautiful & I have no doubt that she can accomplish anything she sets her mind to & truly wants. I am pulling for you sweet girl!

This year I lost a dear friend to cancer. She fought a good fight & lived 2 courageous years with the disease. I am grateful for the time we had together, having been reunited about a year and a half ago. Val was sweet, funny, stylish, loving mother, wife & friend. She was my childhood friend & I will miss her terribly. I am grateful for the hope of the life after this where we will once again share hugs, laughter & tears of joy together! Until that day, I pray for God's comfort & healing on her beautiful family.

I realize that I may be sounding like a broken record, but despite some of the tough stuff this year, we are eternally grateful to our heavenly Father for lavishing such blessings on us. For those of our friends & family who are struggling right now, we offer our support, prayer & love. Please know that He promises to "never leave you nor forsake you"...and neither will we.

We are grateful for our beautiful family, for the love we share, the health in our bodies, the life we are blessed with. We are grateful for our jobs which allow us to continue to move past the struggles of our past & move forward to more promising times. We are grateful for the friends God has seen fit to bring into our lives, those who love us (no matter what) & who continue to pray for us. We promise to do likewise.

But above it all, we are grateful for the love of our Father - our provider, our strength, our courage, our future. All we have is His & we hold onto it all loosely, knowing that we need to be generous with what has been given. We are ultimately & supremely grateful that Heaven is our home & that when we pass through this moment in time, we will spend all of eternity in the presence of our King. And for as much as we love our new home...it pales in comparison to the HOME He is preparing for us!

Life Marches On...

2011-01-20T16:23:00.007-05:00

January, 2011. Hard to believe. Also hard to believe I haven't sat & put thoughts down here since May! A new year. Once again. What will we make of it? What lies ahead? What changes do we want to make? What changes will be made for us?

These types of questions always plague me as a new year rolls around. I'm sure I'm not alone. I'm not necessarily talking about "resolutions", although those are pretty popular this time of year. All you need do is walk into your local gym to see that's true. I'm talking about anticipation. Some will be good. Some, possibly, not so good. We can make choices for our lives, but how much is not really in our control? It's a time to take stock, to reassess, to evaluate. A time to make decisions about our future. Or at least the next few months. Norm & I have been looking for a house. We're really excited about this & have approached it with a sense of adventure. But as the months have rolled by with no luck in finding the "right place", our excitement is slowly being replaced with discouragement. We made a decision about our future, but circumstances have not complied! And that...is....life. Don't get me wrong, we're not hanging our heads, by no means. We are pushing forward, making our plans. But I have to wonder how much of it is really in our hands? We like to think we can plan our future, decide where we'll live, work, how many kids we'll have, etc. But how much is really in our control?

Our kids were home for the holidays & it was a wonderful time! So fabulous to have us all under the same roof for a time again! We had family in town & got closer to extended family as my son's girlfriend & family spent time with us as well. It was impossible to imagine a time like this when they were children. In that time, its hard to fathom things like children living away from you, moving to different parts of the country, going to college, graduating from college, having girlfriends/boyfriends who are potential spouses! No matter what stage of life we find ourselves in, its hard to not feel like "it will always be this way". Reality is, life marches on. It grows, it changes, it adds & detracts from our circle. It brings joy, it brings pain. It brings successes, it brings failures. It brings gain, it brings loss. Who can really know what is around the corner?

It's in understanding that, that I must come to faith. I must wholeheartedly believe that the God of this universe, my Abba Father, has my life in His hands. No matter what life brings, no matter where I find myself, I am His. He gives me all I need to live this life. He provides my intellect, my strength, my ability to work, to find joy. If I'm smart, I'll remember to also ask Him for wisdom in order to handle the things that life brings my way. Most importantly though, He gives me love. Because He IS love and I am HIS, I therefore have His love in me. He gives me the ability to love all those around me. Because He first loved me. (1 John 4:19) It's truly believing that He loves me & walks with me at all times, during the good, the bad & the ugly, that my faith allows me to move forward each & every day.

And let us not forget to celebrate this life that we have been given! It is a gift! It will be short, so enjoy the moments, put pettiness aside, don't waste time. Laugh often, love always. Because life marches on...

There's No Place Like Home...

2010-05-31T10:33:00.007-05:00

What is this urge we parents/women have to make all around us comfortable? I can look back at countless times in my life where making a "home" cozy & welcoming was my #1 priority. Norm & I have moved 7 times (yikes!) since we're married & worked hard on each every one of them to make them feel like home. No matter the size of the space, we had that need/urge to make it inviting, welcoming...home. The most vivid memory of creating coziness, of course, happened while preparing for the birth of my 2 children. Little creatures that knew nothing of this world or their surroundings, we were convinced needed a lovely & safe space of their own. I can remember being 6-7 months pregnant with my first and painting & papering the nursery. Back then we didn't realize that painting was a big "no-no" for a pregnant mom! Nonetheless, we brought that little bundle of joy into its carefully prepared nest, and all was right with the world! With my second, it was exactly the same. Living in a different home, we worked diligently on preparing a safe, cozy & quiet place for her to exist. I'm sure she would not have been upset by walls whose colors weren't "baby appropriate" or if she had to use a comforter set that belonged to her older brother. But as her dutiful & loving parents, we worked at creating what we deemed to be just the right space for her.

And on & on it goes.... Even now, as my children, both of whom go to school away from home, made plans to come home for the summer, we got to work preparing places of comfort & privacy for them. Since they're young adults used to living away from mom & dad, we wanted to be sure to give them each a space to unwind after work, or just settle in for a long phone conversation uninterrupted by the rest of the family. We love our children & are blessed beyond measure to have them both here for 2 whole precious months! We cleaned, reorganized, built closet shelving, new bedding, etc. all in anticipation of their arrival. After all, they are my children & I want to be able to give them the best I can offer. I want them to feel "at home", welcome.

I heard an amazing sermon this weekend about eternity. The gist of it was the idea of "coming home". It was expressed like this, "life here on earth is like living in a hotel, eternity is being home". It really struck me. The point was, the hotel offered shelter, comfort, food, etc. Why, then does it not feel like home? That longing that is inside all of us for home, is described as not just a destination, but a desire to be where we belong. In our small way, we prepared for the homecoming of our children. Would God do anything less? I can only imagine the homecoming that awaits us with Christ. I envision our Heavenly Father waiting with open arms to welcome us, just as I do each time my son's plane lands or I pull up in front of my daughter's dorm. What's so amazing is that it is me who is eager with anticipation! We think of eternity with our Lord & with each other, but do we actually consider that He is eagerly awaiting our arrival? That he is excited to see us, to put His arms around us, show us the lovely place that has been prepared for us? Its hard to imagine the God of the Universe being that intimate with each of us, but that is His desire.

My time with my children will be wonderful this summer, but I already know it will go way too fast. Someday, we won't have to say good-bye to each other. Someday we will be home. For all eternity. And in the immortal words of the ever-wise Dorothy, "there's no place like home".

Haves or Have Nots??

2010-02-20T09:40:00.008-05:00

There are times in my life when I'm not sure which of these I am. Once upon a time, Norm & I worked, saved & purchased the beautiful house in the suburbs, complete with in-ground pool & fireplace, essentially equating to the "American Dream". I guess at that point we would be viewed as the "haves". Through a series of work changes & job losses...all that is gone. We moved from the 4 bedroom house to the 3 bedroom apartment & then the next 3 bedroom apartment. I guess at this point we would be considered the "have nots".

Funny thing about "having" & "not having"....its all a matter of perspective. I heard a minister preach an amazing message once & it really has stuck with me. He said that only 8% of the world's population owns a car (we have 2). He said that about a billion people do not have access to clean water & about 800 million people won't eat today. Every day I can turn on a faucet & effortlessly fill a glass, a teapot, wash a dish or bathe. I have never gone a day without a meal, unless I had decided to do so. He said that roughly a billion people live on less than $1 a day and that experts say it would take roughly $20 billion to provide water, food & healthcare to the entire world - about what the US spends in one year on ice cream. These are staggering statistics! Compared to the world around me, I don't have much. There is a great concentration of "wealth" in the area I live in. But "the world around me" is NOT the world. He said that we run into danger when we perceive "our world" to be "the world". We as Americans can easily fall into the trap of needing bigger, better, more. We are constantly bombarded with messages that teach us that this is what we need, that this will make us happy, that this will give us a "life".

Everything I have is a gift from God. Even the ability to work, to be healthy & strong enough to earn the money to provide for our family. No matter if I'm living in the big 4 bedroom house or the small 3 bedroom apartment, I am warm, I am safe, I am fed. Sadly, how many people in the world can say that?

Jesus teaches us in 1 Timothy 6:17-18 - "Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds and to be generous and willing to share." I don't think God has a problem with our "having", I think the problem lies in our willingness to share what we have with the those in need. It's understanding that the gifts that He's seen fit to give us, are not just for our enjoyment. And its not just about money, its about giving of ourselves, giving of our time & our energy. Its learning to put others first, it requires sacrifice. Its true generosity. Not always an easy task, I know. The minister described this as having "life that is truly a life".

I see it as being content too. We are taught in Phil. 4:12 - "I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Its funny again that word "perspective". Compared to the life I had, I am living in want. But compared to 92% of the world's population...I am rich. I can honestly say that losing our house was a difficult time in our lives. Amazingly, I can remember being at total peace when it became time to move on. God had provided a lovely, safe place for our family to live. We may not always have everything we want, but He always makes sure we have what we need. The fact that God has taken care of every need we have had since then is an awesome testimony to how He loves & cares for His children. He only asks that we then turn & do the same.

Our church has been raising money for Sierra Leone, one of the poorest countries in the world. We have been working at digging wells, providing sanitation systems, farming, providing medical care, schools, churches, etc. They are doing a benefit concert on March 12th at the church & all the proceeds are going to help the people of Sierra Leone. It doesn't get easier than that! We enjoy a great concert & the people of Sierra Leone get fresh water. You can go to http://www.thechapel.com/ to find out more. Also check out http://www.ltlol.com/ - another amazing ministry started by one of the youth worship leaders in the church that has some pretty creative ideas on how to raise money for clean drinking water for Sierra Leone.

And we don't have to cross an ocean, continent or country to find those in need. God has placed each one of us right where He wants us. Our city is in need, our neighbors are in need. Take a look around....we can all do something because He provides everything. That's a life worth living...

Oh Christmas Tree....and Gratitude

2010-01-05T17:49:00.009-05:00

It's amazing to me that I haven't taken "key in hand" to update this blog in over a year! Guess its been a heck of a year... During that time, I went from losing my dream job of working with youth/college students, to a series of part time jobs - including house cleaning & home organization projects. After that, I took the wrong job for the right reason, working in a law firm that paid well, had great benefits & was something my family needed at the time since my husband was unemployed. While I loved the people that I worked with, I honestly don't think there was one day that I actually enjoyed being there. I'm sure in today's economy, many people are working jobs they need over jobs they love. In other words, you do what you have to do for your family. I remember praying every day on my way to work that God would allow me to do my job with excellence, with a spirit of joy & with a grateful heart. I also prayed that He would show me His ultimate purpose for placing me in a place where I not only did not enjoy the job I did, but was opposed to the very core of the law they practiced. Not a great motivator to get out of bed each morning. I would pray that God would let me know when it was time to move on & that He would provide what would come next. And after a year of loving on the people I worked with & doing my very best to be a blessing in a tough place, He brought along another wonderful & unexpected opportunity.

That was 6 months ago. I have been happily working for friends of mine & I still pray every day on my way to work. Only now not to get me through the day, but to continue to be a blessing to those I work for & do my job with excellence. I pray that each day I accomplish this. That would be a successful job in my estimation!

One of the most beautiful things about this new job is the amazing people I work for. They are kind, hard working, fun to be around, men of integrity & treat me very well. They understand that no matter how dedicated I am to my job, my first priority will always be my family. Being good Christian men, they get this. I was allowed much flexibility in my work schedule in order to spend time with my son & daughter while they were home for Christmas. We packed alot into a short time & I'm so grateful to God that I was afforded the time to do it. And they didn't release me to my family grudgingly, making me feel guilt-ridden. They lavished the spirit of Christmas on me AND my family, and graciously encouraged us to go spend time together. I am grateful or these men that God has seen fit to place me with. I am grateful to God.

Up top is a dorky photo of me & my family as we hunted for the perfect Christmas tree. Yeah, we know we're dorky... But oh so much fun to be together! The other picture is of my son & his girlfriend Jen, another gift God has brought into our family & we love her. I am grateful to God for my family. I am grateful to God. All in all, I faced my Christmas this year with a spirit of anticipation, of joy, of peace.

I pray yours was the same... <3

Merry Christmas (slightly late) & may God richly bless your 2010!!!

God's Early Christmas Gifts...

2008-12-19T15:38:00.012-05:00

Who would have thought that a snow storm would turn out to be one of the best gifts I've been given in a long time??!! Last night, under clear skies, my son flew in from Southern Florida. Yeah, it was cold, but he arrived safely, on time & with no weather issues. Today...a different story. So, gratefulness #1, "thank you Lord for bringing my son home before the storm." (These are just some pictures from around Buffalo, found on the wgrz.com website.)

We had planned on picking Sam up from school today (snow day) after I got out of work. But because the snow was coming down fast & furious, Norm & Alex decided to get an early start and so they set out around 10:00 am. They made it there & back in about 4 hours. Gratefulness #2, "thank you Lord for their safe travel through a snow storm and for bringing them home to me safe & sound".

But the best part, well maybe not the BEST part because NOTHING is better than having both my kids home, is that my office actually closed at 12:30 because of the storm! That NEVER happens, apparently! I was so sad that I couldn't join Norm & Alex picking up Sam because I had to work. Then, they let us out early, I bummed a ride off a friend, got home before the family, cooked a pot of nice hot soup & waited for their arrival. So, gratefulness #3, "thank you Lord for letting me be a part of the homecoming and for doing the thing I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE MOST....be Mom."

Hahaha...only in Buffalo!!

"Thank you Lord for my early Christmas gifts...." And as if all this isn't enough, the ultimate gift was His Son being born, so that I could have a life with Him. It simply does not get better than all that. When people say "God is Good", it doesn't even come close to how amazing & awe inspiring He is, and for the way He loves & cares for us. Thank you Lord...I love you!

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL......may you feel His blessings as I do today.

Cell Phone CPR...or is it R&R?

2008-12-10T20:09:00.013-05:00

So, about 2 weeks ago I had a pretty bad cold so I decided a nice, hot, relaxing bath was definitely in order. Why oh why do I incorporate texting on my cell phone to relaxing in a tub, I have no idea! But as the cell phone addict that I may have become, this was my situation. And as careful as I thought I was being, yes you guessed it, I dropped it in the tub. That brief "oh no!", followed by plop. And all I could see were dollar signs as I imagined what this was going to cost me. Not to mention being completely cut off from the world!! Oh the horror!

Then I remembered a friend of mine once telling me that all you have to do when you get your cell phone wet is to put it in some dry rice. The idea being that the rice would absorb the moisture sinking deep into the crevices of the phone. I decided that it was worth a shot, what did I have to lose at this point, except a bag of rice?? Sam reminded me to take the battery out too. So, there it laid, dismantled & buried in a Ziploc bag of rice overnight. When I eagerly opened it the next morning, it actually worked! I couldn't believe it! The night before all it did was sputter & die out! To my dismay, however, within a few minutes, it died again. The rice didn't work. Bummer.

Then I got the scam artist at the Sprint store tap dancing all over me about limited coverage, renewing plans, upgrading phones, rebates that I've accumulated since the 5th grade...everything to aggravate me & make me walk out in disgust....my dead cell phone laying limply in my pocket. Norm was then going to buy me a used phone off of Craig's list and round & round we went. For 4 days we discussed the best option. It occurred to me that what if they can't even get my phone numbers out of the phone??!! The horror!!! I can't even IMAGINE having to attempt retrieving all those numbers! (I don't have that many actually, but fear over dramatizes everything!) As I went to see if my phone would even turn on long enough to pull out my oh-so important numbers, I realized that my phone was actually working! It really was working!! And its worked ever since!! Crazy, isn't it???

Moral of the story....sometimes we just need a cozy place to sleep for the night & a few days off. Then we'll be as good as new!!

Try it for yourself sometime..... :)

Catching Up...

2008-12-03T21:27:00.015-05:00

Wow!! It really has been a LONG time since I've taken time to update. Not sure anyone is bothered by that...but I know I am! So, if even just for my own inner peace, and hopefully somebody's amusement, I want to catch up with what life has brought our way since August....

Sam left for State University of New York at Fredonia...she loves it! Here she is with her roommate Jasmine from Brooklyn! Thank you Lord...they get along great...

Said good-bye to my best friend....

Visited my brother & his family in Michigan...here with my nephew at University of Michigan football game...

Me & my niece Jesse at the U of M game!! It was COOOLLLDDD!!

Took a road trip in the Jeep from Buffalo to West Palm Beach...yeah, ran into a snow storm in Pittsburgh....

Took the Jeep down...and gave it Alex. Yeah, he needed a car & we just couldn't resist helping him out! Love that kid...

Me and my boy....

Celebrated my niece Sophia's 2nd birthday.....

Spent time with friends....

and even more friends...

And Cammy kept us entertained....

We even celebrated an engagement...

And Norm got his first pair of glasses!

This doesn't even include the 2 new jobs that Norm & I have, Thanksgiving and getting ready for Christmas!! No wonder I haven't added a word here since August!

Life is full...and I wouldn't have it any other way!

Life in Stages...

2008-08-17T20:12:00.003-05:00

As many of you know, we're getting ready to take our daughter to college in less than a week. Its kinda a funny expression, because I don't know how "ready" any of us really are. We've done the grad party, the college orientation, the dorm room shopping...we're as ready as we'll ever be, I guess. I'm sure to many the use of the word "we" is quite funny, since she's the one going & I'm essentially going to stay behind trying to figure out how to carry on life in a whole new way. Its funny when you're raising your family, you know the idea of your kids going away to college is "out there", but then it comes upon you sometimes like a freight train. Its not that we haven't talked about it, prayed about , prepared for it, celebrated it. Its just that now its actually here. And it changes everything. No more long conversations late at night hanging in my room, cuz she just needs to vent. No more leaving her a cup of hot tea early in the morning as she gets ready for school. No more juggling cars. No more planning meals for a family. Its just me & Norm. Strange thought. I'm a mother at heart & I think its the job I've always done best. So am I just getting laid off here? I don't think so. I think the job description has just changed. And yes, we're moving headlong into the next stage of life. If you see me, please don't call me an "empy nester", cuz we've heard it like 1,000 times now and it kinda hurts, to be honest.

As with all things in life, we trust God with what's next. Again, I find myself in a place where I can't really peer around the corner to see what He has in store. But I am confident that He loves me, loves my family & knows my heart....better than anyone. He knows how much I love my children, love being a mom. I doubt that is going to end any time before I draw my last breath. But they will need me in a whole new way, I'm sure. I can't fully anticipate what that way is just yet, but I'm excited about the idea of a more mature relationship with adult children. That is something we've been building for years now.

No matter how hard it is, I'm so very proud of my children. Proud to know that they are confident enough in who they are to go out & try this next stage of their life on their own. Proud that they know they will always have the security of parents who love & care for them no matter what their address is. Proud that they ultimately belong to a Heavenly Father who will be with them...even when I can't be. All of it...each stage of this life is a precious gift. Whether they are newborns who need you for their very existence, or they are young children who need you to nurture & teach them. Or they are young adults, feeling their way in the world, needing to know that there is a safety net for them in the form of loving, caring parents.

So, one week. That's all that is left for having children officially living under my roof. Please pray for this stage of life for us. I have already experienced the pain that comes with it. I've also experienced the joy. But I still have to walk away...at some point...one last hug...then walk away. From my best friend, my daughter. That will be the toughest stage yet.

What's next?? God only knows. But I'm sure glad He does.

"9 to 5 & Rush Hour Traffic"

2008-07-24T17:03:00.007-05:00

Okay, I finally did it. I bit the bullet, joined the work force full time. Yes I am officially a "9 to 5-ver - rush hour traffic driving - rat race participator"! I'd love to tell you that I have this wonderfully fulfilling job that makes me feel all warm & fuzzy & full of purpose. Well...that's not exactly right. What I do have is stability. And in my life in recent months, this is not such a bad thing. I have a steady paycheck, with good pay, health benefits, paid time off. And to be perfectly honest, I only have to deal with traffic for about 2 miles, because that's how close the office is to home. Not a bad deal. All I have to do in return is chain myself to my desk from 8:30 to 4:30 (okay, its not actually "9 to 5", but it just sounds better), and work, work, work! I've notice that the people around me don't do a lot of socializing. I guess that's good for productivity. But it certainly makes me miss some of prior jobs where socializing was not frivolous...its how we did our jobs! Oh well...no use crying over spilt milk...or tiny cubicles.

For those of you who don't know, I have taken a job once again in a law firm. I actually went to school for this way back "in the day". I had worked in various firms in Syracuse & Buffalo when I was first married & part time for many years after kids came along. Its perfect for someone who's organized & detail oriented. Yeah that's me. But I'm also a people person, which really helped me in my prior jobs. Not so much this one. But, hey, you never know. I work with alot of young people (so what else is new?) and I'm hoping that God will use me in some way besides just collecting a paycheck. Like I know He knows we need the money. And He knows we need the health insurance. But I also know that He wastes nothing. I also know that while He will bless me with a job to secure my family, He always has plans that are greater. I pray that I will bring Him glory through all I do and that even in a place where hundreds (yes hundreds) of people sit working behind office doors or sequestered in cubicles, I can help bring some light.

After only a week's time, I'm starting to get the hang of my new position. Its fairly intense, let me tell you. But I can handle it. Its a fairly intense place. All the more need for Christ. While I won't be walking around preaching or reading my bible to people, I know that His love can shine through me...no matter where He places me. And yeah, those Lego people are pretty accurate...

I would so covet your prayers as I begin this endeavor. Its hard work, and hard to be away from my daughter every day, all day, right before she leaves for school. It was a tough choice to make. And while I have always worked in some capacity, I've tried really hard to keep my children as a priority, right into their teen years. But right now, my family needs my help financially more than anything else. And we'll just see what the law firm really needs from me. God only knows....

Crazy June!! Wouldn't trade a moment...

2008-07-05T22:03:00.013-05:00

I haven't posted in so long because basically the sheer volume of activity in my life recently simply hasn't allowed it! We knew the events of June 2008 were going to take over our lives for months now. It didn't fail to deliver. We started with my nephew's graduation party in Michigan, that was such a blast & so fun to bless on this amazing young man. Someday maybe I'll post just about him, he's pretty special.

Two weeks later we had my daughter's graduation party here at the house. With there still being no job (or a solid one at least) in sight for Norm, we did all we could to make it as simple as possible and yet bless on our girl. And thank You Lord for such wonderful friends who gave us help. We wanted to make the day special & love on my daughter, celebrating her great accomplishments not just over these last 4 years, but 12 to be sure. She is amazing & smart & headed off to college in 1 1/2 months (that will be yet another blog!). So, we celebrated her in style, simple yet oh so much fun!

The very next day, we gathered again to celebrate my parents 50th wedding anniversary. This was so much fun, with family in from all over the country to pay tribute to this amazing couple. (If you're a Facebook participator, there are many pics of all these events there should you care to take a peek!).

Last week was prom and then 2 days later we lined ourselves in front of Williamsville South High School & watched our little girl/young woman walk across the steps & receive her diploma. It's an event that will forever be etched in my memory, much like her first day of kindergarten. It has been an extreme privilege & joy raising this amazing young woman. To be present at this precipice in her life was something I will carry with me always. She views the road ahead with such anticipation & excitement that it truly is hard to think of my own inner turmoil of letting her go. She is ready for this next stage of life, ready to meet the challenges head, ready to discover who she really is & what she's made of. Likely qualities I've seen in her all along.

Every element of this entry could be its own blog, and maybe when the weather once again turns cold & she is off living in a crowded dorm room, I will take the time to reflect & share what these events have really meant to me, to us....but for now....I will enjoy the time I have with her at home. I love you Sam....

I am also going to enjoy spending these next few days with my "boy" as we are preparing to say good-bye, again, to him as he heads back to Florida on Wed. morning. He has been home with us for 1 1/2 months now and I have loved every minute of it. Knowing that the goal is to raise our children into adults who can care for themselves and succeed in the world without us, means we have to let go & let them live their own lives. Its hard, yet rewarding to know that while this is his home...that is where is life is. I love you Alex....

Being "mom" to these two amazing young adults has been the best job I could ever have. Its also been the hardest thing I've ever had the privilege to do. Thank you Lord for bringing them into my life & entrusting me with them. The future belongs to them...they belong to You.

A Call for Simpler Times? Perhaps...

2008-06-13T14:23:00.005-05:00

I know our gas prices aren't quite this high....yet....but you know its just a matter of time. The day before I left for Florida, which was May 12th, I took a picture with my phone at the pump at my corner. The gas was $3.89. I thought how insane! It can't possibly get higher than this! But as you are all painfully aware, we have far surpassed this meager cost & have soared right over the $4 mark. And don't even get me started on what I pay for groceries! I don't buy red meat, don't buy organic (despite what the experts suggest), buy a lot of generic products, and still manage to spend a small fortune every week. Besides our basic bills, this is where we are spending all our money (what little we have). At the pump...at the grocery store. Things like restaurants & movies are rare treats these days. And forget about even setting foot in a mall!

In talking to my mom about this, she wondered about the possibility that we may be headed back to World War II living. She was a little girl at the time, but remembers the scrimping & saving quite well. Probably what has made her the frugal wife & mother she grew into. She remembers saving tin foil because you could get pennies for metal. This past week, my husband recycled some metal in a yard in order to get a few bucks for it. Mom remembers living in one large house with 2 of her aunts, cousins & her grandparents living in a smaller house out back (what today people would call "in-law quarters"). They shared one bathroom, one kitchen, one radio. She remembers that they only took a bath twice a week in order to conserve water. But growing up in the depression era required such sacrifices. And I'm sure they thought they lived pretty well compared to others.

As time goes on and gas prices continue to climb, food prices become unreal and basic living expenses become harder & harder to maintain, might we too begin to adopt some of their frugality's? I even began to think that maybe my mom & her mom before her had it right. Maybe for all our advances, we've turned our simple world into something that has become harder & harder to attain or maintain. Like maybe it would be nice to live all together with your extended family. Think about sharing expenses with others. Think about taking turns making meals & sharing them with your family at the end of the day. Think about not having to worry about day care because there's always an aunt or grandma in the house. The younger men go to work, the older men take care of the yard & maintenance of the home. You'd always have babysitters, people to help with housework, maybe even share cars.

Hard to imagine, isn't it?? In a culture where we all have our own cars, a TV in every room, every child with their own bedroom & multiple bathrooms. Many of us don't even live in the same state, let alone the same neighborhood as our families. Haven't we lost something? Have we created a detached feeling at times. Maybe all these crazy cost increases are going to force us back to simpler things, simpler times. Maybe we'll all have to start depending on each other more, maybe we'll begin to help take care of those in our families...the young, the old & everyone in between. Its a great theory...something kind of cool to dream about. Hard to imagine though having to give up our independence, our privacy. (I am realistic enough to see ALL the shortcomings of this thinking...the things you're thinking right now!) But, oh what might we gain? What might our children gain by growing up surrounded by all the generations of their families? The values & wisdom shared of a generation past.

Being faced with the possibility of moving away in order to find decent jobs, makes me lament such an ideal. Its weighing out the necessity of providing for your family & a more secure future vs. the relationships & life you've built here. Not an easy decision to be sure, and I'm certainly not sure it will ever be a circumstance realized...time will tell. I'll keep you posted.

It Certainly is Golden....

2008-05-29T11:54:00.010-05:00

This beautiful couple is my Mom & Dad...seen here at a luncheon given by the Cheektowaga Senior Center in celebration of all the couples in the town celebrating their 50th wedding anniversaries. At this particular luncheon, there were 34 couples all gathered with family & friends to celebrate this milestone in their lives. That's quite amazing, don't you think? Especially in this day & age, and culture, where statistically every 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce. How awesome it was to be a part of this event celebrating Harry & Dottie Smith's 50 years together...known to me simply as Mom & Dad.

Take a look at them on day one....(gorgeous aren't they??!!)

So, 50 years, 4 children and 6 grandchildren later, we will gather family & friends for a private celebration of their golden event. This is my tribute to them. Their love, their life.

I love you Mom & Dad!!

Congratulations....you are a true inspiration.

Cars...Love to Hate Em...

2008-05-16T18:27:00.006-05:00

This is not Alex's car. But I'm pretty sure its the twin sister... I just wonder if the owner of this particular car has had as much fun with their car as we have had with his?? Hmmm....I doubt it. Allow me to elaborate....

As most of you know, I flew down to West Palm Beach, FL, in order to spend a few days with my son & then jump into his "new" 1996 Volvo & drive the 1,500 miles back home to Buffalo. What is the saying about the best laid plans...??? One night after a late night hockey game, we come out of the rink & the new/old car won't start. Thank God we bought the oh so smart (if not fun) gift of AAA for him when he bought it. So, left standing in a parking lot at 12:30 in the morning, we watched it get towed away. The greatest thing was just prior to its ultimate removal, macho hockey players now turned Budweiser drinkers, all stood around grunting & speculating as to what might be the problem. Even with their apparent lack of expertise, they managed to accurately make the diagnosis...fuel pump. Twenty-four hours & $620 later (they did a few other repairs as well...hey, as long as we were at it!), the car now runs great! Yippee!! Our question now, is it do we trust it to make the trip all the way up the east coast? We've opted for no.

After much discussion between Alex & I, not to mention conference calls with Norm back home, coupled with escalating gasoline prices and the fear of breaking down in Backwoods, Georgia, we are now flying home courtesy of Jet Blue. This decision, albeit something that we are all at peace with now, leaves my son home in Buffalo for a month & a half without a car. Four drivers, two cars...should make for an interesting summer.

I HATE CARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The cost of repairs & final registrations for Alex's new/old car has completely tapped him out, and has taken a pretty big chunk of mom's money as well. Dad...he took care of the plane tickets. I HATE CARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I'm staying a few extra days...in a house with 6 college guys...I'm sure they're thrilled. The upside...I'm staying a few extra days in 85 degree, beautiful sunshine with an ocean about 5 minutes away. Not a bad place to sit & lick your wounds. Of course, its Burger King or PB&J's for us for the next few days...but hey...we've got an ocean.

I HATE CARS!!!!!!!!!!! But did I mention the ocean??? See ya'll when we land.

Courage...

2008-05-01T11:33:00.007-05:00

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.

Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God

will be with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9)

I can imagine that Joshua & the Israelites were feeling all of those things that God commanded against. They had just lost Moses and knew that they would now have to cross into the Promised Land without him. Moses was their leader and now he was gone & they had to figure out how to carry on without him. Sure, they had Joshua, but wasn't he like the #2 guy?? Could they trust him?? And what exactly would they find in this Promised Land? Would it fulfill all the hopes & dreams they had been holding out for in their many years of waiting? I'm sure they felt terrified, discouraged and anything but strong.

I was reminded of this scripture this past week while attending a church service at Christ Crusaders church on the East Side of Buffalo. You know those moments when the person preaching points out something from God's Word, usually something you've heard maybe 1,000 times, but all of the sudden, WHAM! It speaks to you... Its interesting to me that in this particular piece of scripture, God actually commands them to be strong & courageous. That's how well He knows His people. That's how in tune He is with their emotions, thoughts & hearts. As their Father, He knew that what lie ahead was going to be amazing, but they could not be afraid to take the steps forward necessary to grab hold of it. In essence, they had to trust God. So, He commands them to be STRONG and COURAGEOUS and to not be TERRIFIED or DISCOURAGED. To be perfectly honest, those last two words describe me more these days than the prior two. And that really makes me angry with myself! I want to be strong & I most definitely want to be courageous. In the face of where we still are in the financial world, things are looking grim. But like the Israelites before they crossed the Jordan, I have no idea what's lying ahead. I only know to hold fast to God's promises.

What we also see is that God makes the promise that HE would be with them wherever they would go. That alone gives me strength, and in that small bit of God's Words, I do find courage. Its a scripture that I have come back to over the last few days over & over again. I'm sure that's no accident. Sitting in the pew of Christ Crusaders Church, God allowed those words, His Words, to sink into my heart & mind. That was no accident. He knew that this week would be hard. He knew that I would be terrified of what lies ahead. He knew that that overwhelming feeling of discouragement would rear its ugly head and wash over me over & over this week. Its a daily battle, I'm not going to lie or sugar-coat it. But He commands my strength & courage...therefore He will provide it. He commands that I not be terrified nor discouraged..and then promises to be with me wherever I go. Because He also knows, that I cannot go it alone. And by stating it here, amongst His commands, He is letting us know that He never intended us to take the next step without him.

(Jordan River)

AAA or Jesus???

2008-04-19T16:04:00.007-05:00

This is how cool God is...

My son calls us from Florida today because his new (to him anyway) car broke down on his way to work. He's pretty upset, says he drove over a speed bump on a side street & the car literally just stopped. Car won't turn over, no lights, no radio...essentially, no power. When he bought the car a few months back, Norm & I decided we would purchase a AAA membership for him...just in case. However, due to extreme busyness in the AAA offices, they never forwarded his membership card. So, naturally, he has to call his dad. Norm gives him the AAA number, gets on the phone with AAA himself, gets Alex's membership number...Alex sits & waits for the truck to arrive.

Here's where it gets cool. While Alex is sitting & stewing in his broken-down car, now already late for work, his really good friend Todd pulls up. Alex was shocked! Surprised, he asks Todd, "What are you doing here. " Todd simply replies..."I don't know. I just had this strange feeling that you needed help and so I decided to get in my car & go look for you." Isn't that incredible?? What's particularly cool about this is, while Norm is calling AAA & doing all his dad things, mom is praying. I'm praying that God would send Alex some help. Also prayed that whatever was wrong with the car would be able to be fixed and that it wouldn't be expensive..because NONE of us have much money right now. So, not only does Todd find Alex, when Alex tells him what happened, Todd lifts the hood, wiggles some wires attached the battery and moved the battery around, got in the car & presto...it starts!! Alex's response to this is..."Todd!!!! What are you JESUS??!!!!" He excitedly calls to tell us this story & its at this point that I tell him that I had been praying for him. He's like, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME???!!!!" Hey, I'm his mom...that's what I do. He was so thrilled that he would be able to get himself to work & will, naturally, have someone take a look at the car so it doesn't happen again.

In my mind what's pretty cool too is that I KNOW it was killing Norm that he couldn't rush to his son's aid. So, isn't it really awesome that Alex's Father could? And bottom line, God got there faster than AAA ever could!

And as we were saying our good-byes with Alex on the phone, just before Norm clicked his phone shut...we overheard Alex say..."thank you Jesus". My sentiments exactly...

Fredonia it is....

2008-04-13T19:02:00.017-05:00

Decision made... My daughter has agonized over the school choice for the past probably 7-8 months. After many discussions, walks around the internet as well as walks around campuses, she has chosen SUNY Fredonia as her college of choice. It really is a great campus, with a pretty awesome reputation. It suits her because its small (approximately 5,500 students), a low student/teacher ratio (approximately 25-1) and is only about 1 hour from home. She made the mature decision knowing that she will be starting school as a 17-year old, not knowing how she would handle being really far from home. This school fits her needs beautifully, has an awesome music program, which is something she would love to continue, and has a great reputation for its psychology department. And, as we all know, nothing has to be permanent. Should she decide to venture further from home down the road, that option will always be available to her. But for now, she is celebrating that monkey off her back, and is happy to know where her journey will be taking her this fall.

Thanks to all of you for your prayers for my girl. Much appreciated! Check out some sweet pics of the campus....

Fredonia basketball...

Music programs...

Library...

Kings Hall Auditorium...

I just wonder where my room is..... ;)

Hope....in Odd Places

2008-03-31T08:15:00.007-05:00

So, we are at the 3 1/2 month mark here & still no job for my husband. Seems impossible!! What's even MORE impossible, is that we paid all our bills this month, once again, all on time. But it is possible. Its possible because God loves us! He loves us enough to bring miracles & blessings in our lives, every day. Maybe its something we have always received, but perhaps our comfort and trust in our own efforts did not allow us to really see what was in front of our faces. The truth is, He always cares for us. But the intensity to which it now shines right before our eyes takes my breath away. I have had the privilege of receiving work from people who are really in need. It is a complete "win/win" situation. I LOVE the fact that I can be a blessing to someone in need, whether its looking after their home & bills while out of the country, or cleaning a friend's newly built home, or babysitting a child who's parents have had some unexpected family issues to focus on. Its not just a job, you know? Its the wonderful gift of loving another. And sometimes, I even get paid. Not the reason I do it, mind you, but God knows my need as well, and I think I've made more money in the last 2-3 months then I ever did working in my last "real". Crazy huh? I then get the great privilege of being home pretty regularly for my teenage daugther, which Norm & I think is incredibly important. God is creative and lavish in His blessings...and in God's economy, its always a "win/win"! Its being blessed while being a blessing.

Life for my family remains to be challenging, frustrating, overwhelming...you name it. From our own financial concerns, to trying to help our daugther choose a college to attend in the fall while also trying to help out our son already in college. We also have some pretty serious family issues in our extended family as well as serious illnesses in the families of dear friends. It is the kind of stuff that can "rock your world", as the saying goes. But only if we let it. I'll admit it...some days, I do let it. But THANK GOD FOR GOD!! Because I know that I will not stay there. I know that I am not someone without hope. I am His child, and therefore, I always have hope for what's ahead. Its the basis of my faith, my foundation. So, when the storms of life come, and believe me, they do, we cower inside our 4 walls for a bit, but we know our foundation is strong. Our foundation is the living Saviour, Jesus Christ. He promises to never leave us, nor forsake us. So, even as life presents its challenges, sometimes new ones every day, I never feel He has left me or my family. We get knocked down sometimes, but we have the ability to get back on our feet, dust ourselves off, and continue on. He gives us a future. He gives us hope. This is our testimony. This is why we are followers of Christ. I can see how sometimes people turn to drugs, alcohol or contemplate suicide at times. These are people who face these harsh storms of life, but have no foundation. It makes me so sad! Because that's MY job to share with these people the hope that is their Saviour. That there is a way out. You see, He doesn't just belong to me. He died for ALL OF US. He has no favoritism, but wants to love & care for us all. All he asks is that we commit our hearts & souls to Him. Not a bad trade off, huh? Seems too easy. Actually, it is too easy...for us. But for Him, it cost Him His life. He endured ridicule, repeated beatings & and a horrific death in the form of crucifixion to insure that we all will have a place at His table one day. All we have to do is accept His gift, turn from our sin. Sweet deal huh? That's the love of our Lord.

He cares for me & my family each day of our lives. One day at a time is how we are living. But that's okay. Because I know that I will have all eternity to thank Him for the gift of life & for the love He brings to it. How do I describe God then? Miracles, life, hope, joy, strength, courage, forgiveness, patience, integrity, love....these are also the gifts that He has for us. I can live in these gifts every day of my life, no matter what the storms of life bring my way. That's the best gift of all.

College Road Trip...

2008-03-05T18:20:00.022-05:00

The search continues to discover which school my daughter will spend the next 4 years of her life. Presuming, of course, that she stays at her first location. To be honest, her first choice of schools was SUNY Geneseo. Now wouldn't you know it...she gets accepted to 6 other schools, but NOT the one that is her first choice. Bummer. Yeah, we know, it "wasn't meant to be" and "God always has a plan", but in that moment of opening the letter that she had been anticipating for months only to find a denial, was crushing. Not just for her, but for her parents who hate to see their daughter disappointed. There were tears, and a few days of complete frustration, but she's coming around. Praise God, she has options. Many options. Like I said, she's been accepted to 6 other universities. Now comes the challenge of deciding which will suit her best & where she feels she'll be comfortable enough to tackle the arduous task of living on her own for the first time while accomplishing success in her chosen major of psychology. No small task. So, one day a few weeks ago we all took the trek to University of Pittsburgh to check out the campus. Had the tour, etc. She likes it, but it just might be a tiny bit too far from home (4 hours) for my 17 year old. Time will tell & God knows...so here are some shots from the day....

Norm getting serious about the college road trip with his 2 girls!

Did I mention the flat tire we got on our way down?? Contrary to the above picture, I was driving at the time. So at roughly 70 mph & we get a flat on some highway, somewhere in the middle of PA. Took a whole hour off our schedule!

Yeah, we had to call AAA & this dude changed it for us. He thought we were nuts for taking his picture...but I just couldn't resist. All part of the experience of the day!

What you see as you drive onto campus. Pitt actually sits right in the middle of the city of Oakland. So why is it University of Pittsburgh??

This is an old cathedral that sits in the middle of campus and has been converted to classrooms. The next couple shots are of the inside. Beautiful...

An upstairs view of the student union.

The Heinz Memorial Chapel. Gorgeous...these are some of the inside...

A campus ballroom. Everything has so much history to it (just a fancy way of saying its an old campus! But beautiful...)

Main road leading through campus.

So, bottom line, I think our girl liked what she saw. Its a busy campus, in a very urban setting (very unlike Geneseo), but so much happening there. Again, time will tell...

This is just one choice....we'll see where the next college road trip leads....

(Oh....and not only did our day begin with a flat tire...it ended with a parking ticket. If I was someone who believed in "signs"...these may not bode well.)

Dirty Jobs...

2008-02-22T17:27:00.004-05:00

Have you seen this guy? His name is Mike Rowe and he has a TV series called "Dirty Jobs". He is amazing and fearless. He has proven that he is not afraid to take on any challenge that is put before him. I've seen him clean sewers, snip the tips of pigs tails off when they're born, and even artificially inseminate a cow. From the smelliest to the slimiest, he jumps right in. The premise is that real people send him a challenge to come work with them, doing their "dirty job" for one day. So, I'm thinking of challenging him to take on my dirty job...being the mother of a teenage girl! Now, don't get me wrong, I love my girl with my whole heart, and she much of the time can be one of my best friends. She's smart, funny, sarcastic...(sound familiar??) and I love her more than my own life. What I'm talking about are the heartaches, the challenges, the flying-by-the-seat-of-your-pants moments that you feel utterly unprepared for. Even this guy gets an expert to work alongside, giving him all kinds of tips, suggestions, encouragements, making sure he doesn't screw it up or hurt himself. Where oh where is that expert for the parent of a teen?

Now, I don't want to be one of those adults that becomes a "teen basher", I happen to really love teens. But if you genuinely want to raise a responsible, well-balanced, Godly adult, you've just got to put the dirty time in. I refer to this as "being in the trenches" right alongside her. I've witnessed parents of teens simply look the other way when things get tough because honestly it might just be a whole lot easier. Or they over-simplify it all by saying "they're teenagers, they'll grow out of it." I just don't buy that. In this day in age, perhaps in any day in age, I think that is dangerous thinking. There is too much at stake for me to simply "check out" at this pivotal point in her life. Believe me, sometimes its tempting to just look the other way, it certainly would be a lot less stressful. But do I sacrifice her future, her well being for my serenity? Not a fair trade-off by a long shot. I'm one of "those moms". You know, the ones that have to know where you are, who you're with, when you'll be home. I've had the talks, spent many hours of one-on-one time with my teens, and most certainly have prayed, prayed, prayed for them. And you know what? I've learned there are no guarantees. Some people just have to learn life lessons on their own, they must make the mistakes in order to find the strength to do it better next time. As a parent, it is the most gut wrenching experience you can ever imagine, watching your teen, teetering on the brink of adulthood, make such mistakes. You fear that one day, those mistakes may go beyond the normal teen foolishness, and actually affect the path of their lives. I've seen it even in the best of Christian homes. I've seen those weary eyed parents who you know have been awake half the night, not because their infant was teething, but because their teen is out with the car past curfew or hanging with the wrong crowd. I have acquired more gray hair than I'd like to admit in recent years!

But I am DETERMINED to hang in there with this most challenging of beautiful people. Because she's worth it. She's worth the stress that comes from being involved in her life, problems and all. She's worth my resisting to take on a full time job just yet because I know that being here for her after school is just as important now as it was when she was in 3rd grade. She's worth the effort it takes to love on her and build her up, instead of giving into the harsh words that build up and try to push themselves at her in the heat of the moment. I won't do it. I value her heart, her soul, her mind, her future too much to tear her down for her mistakes. Don't get me wrong, there is always discipline, because there is always consequence. But to deal with the action while refusing to tear down the person, that's the balancing act. I think of Christ's example to us. While he clearly told the woman caught in adultery to go & sin no more, he refused to let other's stone her. Even He, He without sin, who would be the only one in attendance who could pick up that stone, refused to tear her down. Have you ever heard a parent speak harshly to their child when you're out in public? It breaks my heart. The child, no matter what the age, looks so humiliated. I know that sometimes we witness the child speaking harshly to the parent, but the operative word is they are the child. As the adult in the situation, I believe it is our job to exercise self-control. I'm pretty sure that Galatians would back that up.

Its hard work, to be sure, but the moment I gave birth to her, I made that commitment to always be there for her, to do all in my power to love & care for her, and to raise her in the most positive, Godly environment I could possibly provide. I know that I have not always succeeded, like her, I make mistakes. But my daughter knows she is loved & valued in her home. I believe it will be the thing that will ultimately bring her out strong on the other side of this tumultuous time in her life. But my strongest hope, is that it will be the best example in her life of the unconditional love of her Father. For her to be completely sold out to the One who died in her place, is the ultimate reward for me as her mother. So, I get my hands dirty; I get involved; I sacrifice every day of my life. She's worth it. I'm certain He feels the same way too. Take that Mike...

"The Pajama Game"....

2008-02-11T21:39:00.000-05:00

Over this past weekend, Sam was in her 4th and last musical at Williamsville South High School. It was called the "Pajama Game", one of those corny plays from the 50's. It was really adorable & the kids did an amazing job. They sang, danced, acted, created sets, put together costumes, did all the stage crew & have been rehearsing since November. The end result was so much fun for us, the faithful audience. Its hard to believe that this will be our last time to watch our girl on the "big stage", and we've thoroughly enjoyed every minute. Thought you might appreciate some shots that were taken by one of the dad's. He created a website so we could download them for free (since no flash photography is permitted in the auditorium). The last few pics were hers from back stage. Such a great experience for her and for all the kids....and for a few proud parents too! Enjoy....

Am I Weird, or What??? Love the Storms...

2008-01-30T16:57:00.000-05:00

I have to admit to this strange thing about me...I LOVE a good storm. To me, there's nothing more exciting than a sky that turns really dark, indicating a storm is imminent. Sometimes wind, thunder & lightening, rain or snow. Ooooh!! Today's storm is no different. Being awakened at 6:20 a.m. by an excited teenager announcing those words we ALL love to hear...."NO SCHOOL TODAY!!" It feels like when I was in school myself, I get just as excited over a good snow day now. The idea that we're all tucked safe & cozy inside while the world storms outside, is simply delicious! And I guess because I live in Buffalo I am of the feeling that if winter is going to be cold anyway, we might as well have some snow. I really do love winter (except when it extends itself into what should be the spring). Can I even go so far as to admit that when the sun tried its best to poke out today, I felt disappointed! Yeah, I know...weird. I suppose I wouldn't fare too well living in Florida....who could stand living in a place called, "The Sunshine State"...yuck! Too much pressure! And don't you always feel when the sun is shining that you just HAVE to get out there & "do something"?? Today, I felt obligated to do nothing. Most everything is closed, my daughter's home from school...time for a cup of tea & a good movie, time to just take a time out. Tomorrow, I'm sure everything will be back to normal, and life will resume its fast pace, but for today.....I'm chillin. And loving every minute of it....

(These are all shots from around my yard)

Roots, Part II

2008-01-22T19:18:00.000-05:00

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,

whose confidence is in Him.

He will be like a tree planted by the water

that sends out its roots by the stream.

It does not fear when heat comes;

its leaves are always green.

It has no worries in a year of drought,

and never fails to bear fruit."

Jeremiah 17:7-8

As promised, here is the second devotional I found on the subject of roots. It was, in fact the one I had wanted to share initially, til I found that sweet story of the doctor & his trees. This particular devotional is designed as a prayer, from the heart of a mother to her Lord. As I read it, I felt it described the desires for my own heart... as a mother, a friend. Read on...

"Good Roots" - by Marjorie Holmes

Help me to give my children good roots, God.

As I work with my plants I can see that the sturdiest, and those which bear most freely, are those whose roots go deep, gripping rich soil; they have a base from which they can grow tall and beautiful and sound.

Let this household furnish that kind of soil for my family, God. Enriched with good music, good books, good talk, good taste. But above all, goodness of spirit. Goodness of action.

So that those who come here feel welcome, and those who leave here feel warm. And those who live here know, in every fiber of their beings, that they belong to people who, for all our faults, are good people. People of decency and honor, who would not willingly hurt or cheat any living thing.

Let my children grow freely, God, in whatever direction their nature directs. But give them root strength too. So that they will never deviate too far from their own beginnings.

Help me to give my children good roots.

Roots, Part I

2008-01-17T13:05:00.000-05:00

Here is a devotion I came across on the subject of "Roots"....spoke loud & clear to me as a mother. It also spoke to me as a daugther of my Lord. See what you think...

Interestingly, I also came across a devotion in my own bible time today on the same subject, I will share that another day. I always love it when God makes His message to me clear!

"Growing Roots" -by Philip Gulley

Had an old neighbor when I was growing up named Doctor Gibbs. He didn't look like any doctor I'd ever known. Every time I saw him, he was wearing denim overalls and a straw hat, the front brim of which was green sunglass plastic. He smiled a lot, a smile that matched his hat -- old and crinkly and well-worn. He never yelled at us for playing in his yard. I remember him as someone who was a lot nicer than circumstances warranted. When Doctor Gibbs wasn't saving lives, he was planting trees. His house sat on ten acres, and his life-goal was to make it a forest. The good doctor had some interesting theories concerning plant husbandry. He came from the "No pain, no gain" school of horticulture. He never watered his new trees, which flew in the face of conventional wisdom. Once I asked why, he said that watering plants spoiled them, and that if you water them, each successive tree generation will grow weaker and weaker. So you have to make things rough for them and weed out the weenie trees early on. He talked about how watering trees made for shallow roots, and how trees that weren't watered had to grow deep roots in search of moisture. I took him to mean that deep roots were to be treasured. So he never watered his trees. He'd plant an oak and, instead of watering it every morning, he'd beat it with a rolled up newspaper. Smack! Slap! Pow! I asked him why he did that, and he said it was to get the tree's attention.

Doctor Gibbs went to glory a couple years after I left home. Every now and again, I walk by his house and look at the trees that I'd watched him plant some twenty-five years ago. They're granite strong now -- big and robust. Those trees wake up in the morning and beat their chests and drink their coffee black.

I planted a couple trees a few years back. Carried water to them for a solid summer. Sprayed them. Prayed over them. The whole nine yards. Two years of coddling has resulted in trees that expect to be waited on hand and foot. Whenever a cold wind blows in, they tremble and chatter their branches. Sissy trees. Funny thing about those trees of Doctor Gibbs. Adversity and deprivation seemed to benefit them in ways comfort and ease never could.

Every night before I go to bed, I go check on my two sons. I stand over them and watch their little bodies, the rising and falling of life within. I often pray for them. Mostly I pray that their lives will be easy "Lord, spare them from hardship." But lately I've been thinking that it's time to change my prayer. Has to do with the inevitability of cold winds that hit us at the core. I know my children are going to encounter hardship, and my praying they won't is naive. There's always a cold wind blowing somewhere.

So I'm changing my eventide prayer. Because life is tough, whether we want it to be or not. Instead, I'm going to pray that my sons' roots grow deep, so they can draw strength from the hidden sources of the eternal God. Too many times we pray for ease, but that's a prayer seldom met. What we need to do is pray for roots that reach deep into the Eternal, so when the rains fall and the winds blow, we won't be swept asunder.

Joy...

2008-01-15T14:45:00.001-05:00

So my dear friend Deidra asked me to join her for a women's event at the Chapel last night called "Death by Chocolate". Admittedly, I was hesitant to go, not sure if I'm ready for all that "joining in" just yet. What a dork I can be! The night consisted of chocolate (lovely), worship (lovelier) and a very funny guest speaker from the south named Jackie Kendall (loveliest). And the fact that I got to go with Didi was the icing on the cake! The subject of the night was "Joy". Yeah, my ears were perking up. Haven't felt much of that lately. But those of us who are followers of Christ know that joy & happiness are not the same thing. We know that happiness is completely dependent on our circumstances, like I'll be happy if I could just have __________ (you fill in the blank). Joy, on the other hand, comes from belief that God loves you always and that He freely gave His Son in our place. Its a supernatural expression that I can rest in the arms of my Creator and be filled with His peace & joy, despite my circumstances. Its knowing that all these things we worry about today will be gone tomorrow. Everything except my relationship with Him. That was a good word for me to hear. She spoke of things that rob of us of our joy. Things like fear, jealousy, worry, busyness and outright being dissatisfied with God. (None of us experience those emotions, do we????) Joy comes from spending time in the presence of Jesus who loves me enough to die for me. Why wouldn't that fill me to overflowing with joy?? Its a mystery, but sometimes I just don't feel joyful. And that's where I've messed up. Again, joy is not dependent on my circumstances.

Psalm 28:7 says: "The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." Amen to that! I need to continually be praising, worshiping, loving & connecting with my Savior. Pastor Jerry has been talking about these things as well, continually reiterating the absolute necessity to take solitude with the Lord & to be focused on His Kingdom above all else. I think that would even include my life circumstances. We think about His Word "seek first the Kingdom of God", and think that it means don't put worldly desires or ambitions ahead of Him. But, as in my case, sometimes we can even put our sorrows before Him. THAT will most assuredly steal my joy. That's not the kind of daughter (of the King) I want to be. And I'm sure I wouldn't be much fun to be around either! Needless to say, between Jerry's preachings these last couple of weeks & Jackie's last night, I can honestly say to God..."okay, I get it!!" To which He would likely reply, "Then go live it..." I intend to...

Standing on the Edge...in Faith

2008-01-08T13:06:00.000-05:00

To be perfectly honest, I have been avoiding writing a new blog because I wanted to start the new year off with a mindset of complete optimism & a sense of being up-beat. As we're heading into our second week of January, 2008, I don't think I am possessing any of those mind-sets, at least not on a very consistent basis. Now that's not to say that I am giving up nor is it saying that I'm not 100% trusting that God will come through for us, but it is to say that my humanness is sometimes getting the better of me & I will admit that some days its a little hard to get out of bed in the morning. But, alas, arise I do & will continue to do so, as long as I take each day as a faith walk. I guess the best thing I could share with you at this time is some of the sweet Words of God that are sustaining me. I know there are thousands more that would apply to my life right now, but for now, these are the ones speaking most to my heart.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:8-10

" Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:4-9

"I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:12-13

""For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Life has many challenges for my family right now and I'm struggling to be the devoted wife & mother that I am called to be. I guess I need to understand that first & foremost I am a daughter not just of earthly parents, but also of my Heavenly Father. This same Father has cared for me in more ways than I can ever count, and it is because of this, that I persevere. It is because I trust that He truly does have a "hope & a future" for me and my family, that I can rest. And I pray that one day my faith will allow me the privilege of sharing the awesome testimony of His faithfulness that I trust is headed our way. He also knows what its like to be broken hearted & tells us - "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin." (Hebrews 4:15) He created human emotion so I refuse to feel guilt for the broken heart. But, I need to lean on His strength, trust His abilities, rely on His love, walk in His wisdom, each & every day. That's all I know to do. And its not easy at times. And the broken heart remains...but be sure its down but not out!

Thanks in the New Year...

2007-12-29T10:39:00.000-05:00

Thank you all for your kind words and your prayers as Norm & I face this new trial in our lives. You are all wonderful & faithful friends. Christmas went pretty well, as we did our best to set our situation to the side and just enjoy our time with family. I will be sure to keep you all posted on what happens next. Norm does have a second interview with that competitor & has other possibilities on the horizon. So please keep praying!!

I just wanted to take this time to wish you all a blessed New Year. Undoubtedly lots of changes ahead in all our lives this coming year....new jobs (prayerfully!), babies, moves and sending children to college. We need God in every bit of it! I pray His presence strong & real in each of your lives, no matter what you're facing this year. May you experience the love that comes from family and great friendships, the joy of knowing you are doing as He asks in your lives, and the peace that comes from knowing He is with you, a sweet peace that only He can provide.

2007 had its ups & its downs for us to be sure....but I KNOW I could not have gotten through ANY of it without all of you and the love & care of our heavenly Father. So, Happy New Year dear friends & family! I love you all very much...

Cheers!

Your Prayers Needed...

2007-12-19T15:54:00.001-05:00

To anyone reading this, I am asking you for your prayers for my family. My husband found out a couple of days ago that as of January 1st, he will no longer have a job. Merry Christmas, huh?? While the timing really stinks, I can't say that we were completely taken by surprised. He was told a while ago that the company he works for was looking around the country to see which territories were small enough to merge with larger ones, thereby cutting their costs. It never happened back when we first got wind of it. But Buffalo is one of those smaller territories and therefore now is being eliminated, along with 3 other territories around the country. While I understand a company's need to save some money, I struggle with their dropping that little bomb during the holiday season. And don't you just hate it when really great people lose their jobs due to "financial constraints"? Seems disturbingly familiar somehow. Needless to say, we're being very careful in our spending, as we have no idea how long his unemployment may last. One good thing to mention is that he has a job interview tomorrow (Thursday) with a competitor of the company that just let him go. Hmmm....poetic justice?? Perhaps... Time will tell.

In the meantime, once again we find ourselves in a place of uncertainty. We are attempting with all we have to be optimistic and not let anxiety rule our every thought and conversation. As most of you know, we have been here before & not all that long ago. Norm explains that that's how it goes in sales jobs sometimes, good money can be made, but often job security is hard to come by. So to all my wonderful friends & family I ask for your prayers & to also keep him in mind if you know of any jobs out there. (Jobs that he might actually be interested in and qualified for please!)

We are blessed already in so many ways this Christmas, I know that God's hand is on us. This just hits hard at a very tough time. Please pray... Thank you... And as always....I'll keep you posted.

Love you all...

Safe & Sound & on the Ground....

2007-12-15T14:26:00.000-05:00

Thanks to US Airways, a helpful airport clerk, a change in flight and a storm that won't come for another day, my son has made his way safely home to us. It was a great relief to see his face walking through the exit towards us, I can tell you that! We had been praying for him all day, knowing the crazy weather around the country & the great possibility of delays. Then there's this giant snow storm that allegedly is headed our way and knowing that any significant delays at that point could put him sleeping in some airport for a few days instead of in his own warm bed. So, my absolute heart-felt & humble thanks to my Lord for answering our prayers! His faithfulness to my ever needy family leaves me with a heart full of gratitude, awe & love. Thanks also to all of you who were praying yesterday! May your loved ones travel to you, or you to them, safely & soundly this Christmas. And if this storm is as bad as they are predicting & not just another weather man's over-excitability, then grab some blankets and movies, make a pot of soup and enjoy some down time with those you love. Now that my son is home....let it snow!!

He Hears our Cries....

2007-12-03T20:30:00.000-05:00

One of the families that I clean for has a 6-month old baby boy, and he's adorable! Anyway, this morning while cleaning downstairs, I heard him begin to cry upstairs. He wanted his Mom. He was hungry. Or he needed his diaper changed. Maybe too hot, or too cold, or too tired, or too awake. Either way, he was not comfortable in his present condition, so he cried out. He instinctively knew that someone would come to him & care for him. Nobody had to teach him that, it is something God placed in him from the moment he drew his first breath. He knows that when he cries out, he will be comforted. He will be cared for. I got to thinking how remarkable that instinct is and how interesting it is that God put that inside each of us in order to take care of our basic human needs. He teaches us from the very moment we arrive on this earth to cry out in need. Initially to cry out for human touch, comfort & care. As we grow older & hopefully grow in our dependency on God, that instinct translates into our need to cry out to Him when we need to be cared for, comforted, encouraged, directed. Do we trust this instinct He has given us? His Word teaches us that, "In my distress I called to the LORD; I called out to my God. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came to his ears." 2 Samuel 22:7 Our Holy Lord gave us that in our basic human make up for a reason. And just like the loving arms of this baby's mother, God is there for us. He hears our cries. He wraps His arms around us...sometimes through others, and sometimes its just something you sense deep in your heart. He cares. He comforts. He loves us. And just like this comforted baby, we can then find rest.

Oh Christmas Tree....

2007-11-29T18:24:00.001-05:00

When we were first married, Norm & I would always buy a real Christmas tree...that's what Norm grew up with & so that's what we began doing. But at some point when our kids were small we made the shift to the "dreaded" artificial tree. I know, I know...for you die hard "real trees only" people, this is a cardinal sin. But for a busy mom who had enough of real trees that fell over or lost needles too soon, not to mention the needles we were STILL finding stuck in the rug in July, we made the big leap to the artificial. Plus, the cost for the real ones just got plain ridiculous! Many people thought our tree was real it was so well made. So, what is the goal anyway? When you buy a really nice real tree people say "its so perfect it looks artificial", and if you buy a really nice artificial one, they'll say, "it looks so real"! You can't win...or lose!! And honestly, how long does the pine scent last anyway (and personally I've never really been a fan. I've never even used Pine Sol baby). When we lived in our house on Eastbrooke Place, our family room ceiling was so high that buying a decent real tree big enough would have used our Christmas budget! After moving to our new apartment, that first Christmas brought the reality that our beautiful artificial tree was just not going to fit. So, we've made the leap back. And, a few years ago we thought it would be fun, since now our kids were a little older, to cut down our tree ourselves. The cost is not too bad & it really has been a fun experience. As you can see by the look on my family's faces here.... Hahaha....

Anyway, its become our yearly tradition now that on Thanksgiving weekend, before the craziness of Christmas is upon us, to go as a family & cut down our tree. It was awesome this year to have Alex join us. I just HAD to take some pictures so he could show his Florida friends what crazy northerners do on a Saturday afternoon in 30 degree weather!

So, the tree is up, the house is decorated. Yeah, we only have about 5 Christmas gifts bought, but oh well...it'll all get done eventually. The gifts, the wrapping, the baking, the egg nog...yeah, I said it! The tree is always the beginning...so bring it on! Let the games begin!

Let me share a few more shots of our adventure in Clarence, New York (voted #34 out of 50 best small towns in the country to live, by the way).

Enjoy your holiday season my friends! And enjoy your tree, real or otherwise. No tree snobbery here!!

Surprise, Surprise!!

2007-11-23T17:37:00.001-05:00

Well, as if I didn't have enough to be grateful for this Thanksgiving, I was blessed by the surprise homecoming of my son! We were in shock, since he very sneakily planned his homecoming with family members, all designed to surprise me and his dad. He showed up at my mother's home just as we were sitting down to our Thanksgiving dinner. Talk about having something to be grateful for! I wish I would have a picture of mine & Norm's faces! Shock & tears would cover it I'd say... How wonderful to have him back under our roof! So he grabbed a lovely, home-cooked turkey dinner compliments of Grandma, a shower, a quick nap, some time with his family, and then off to be with friends. Ahhh...life as usual! It's a beautiful thing.... Thank you Jesus!!

Miracles and Thankfulness...

2007-11-12T16:39:00.000-05:00

We are quickly approaching my favorite holiday of the year. Thanksgiving. I love this holiday because of its simplicity & for the sheer idea that its a day set aside to gather with those we love and just...be....grateful. I definitely think that this is a lost art in our society...the idea of being thankful for what we have. I know that there are others who have much more materially than I do, but I am sincerely grateful for the gifts I do have. My beautiful & healthy family, our cozy home, and friends & family to share the good & not so good times of our lives. Despite the challenges Norm & I have faced over the last few years, I am determined to be grateful to God for how He's brought us through & how beautifully He has provided for us. I have some friends who are going through a particularly difficult time in their lives. They are struggling to stay afloat financially as well as trying to discover what God's plans are for their lives. They are an inspiration to me. I know that they have their difficult moments, I've been privileged to have them share honestly the enormous weight of their situation. But they inspire because they are always grateful for whatever God blesses them with. One of the things that she always says is that each week, God brings them a miracle. Whether its an anonymous gift card to Wegman's, a word of encouragement or an unexpected job that will help pay for that bill they weren't sure how they would pay. She is in constant awe as to how God continually brings blessings their way. They have learned to trust & are building their faith in His provision each time that miracle comes their way. I think God sends all of us miracles, I just wonder how often we actually perceive them as such. Are we more likely to look upon that job, that clean bill of health, the food in our refrigerator, that paid bill, that respectful teen, that obedient child as merely an everyday event? Do we overlook the everyday miracles in our lives? On a couple of occasions I was able to bless on this family & she referred to ME as the miracle. I really don't think that I am, but I'm open to the idea that God would use me for His purposes and am grateful for it. I remember feeling like, "man, she gets a miracle every week??!! I would like that." Then I realized that if I paid close attention to His gifts, I'd see that I do receive miracles all the time. I also thought that in the moment when God prompts me to reach out to a friend in need, I think I'd rather BE the miracle than RECEIVE one. Either way, its awesome to know that God is working in our lives, giving us just what we need, or using us to show love to another. So, this Thanksgiving, I will be grateful to Him for how He blesses me and my family. But, I will also be thanking Him for the chance to be that miracle to someone in need, knowing that's how He shows His true love to us and how we should do likewise.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my
beautiful friends & family!
I Love You All!!!

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." Colossians 3:15

Love Them Like My Own...

2007-11-03T16:08:00.000-05:00

Its a beautiful thing when children enter your life. Sometimes God blesses you with children of your own, sometimes you are blessed to have nieces/nephews, sometimes they are the children of friends. Although I know that babies are a thing of my past, God has seen fit to bless "Uncle Norm & Aunt Sandy" with some pretty awesome little ones! Here are some of their beautiful faces...

My beautiful niece Sophia (dressed here like a pink poodle!)

Elijah, Sydney & Morgan
(cowboy, zebra & Miss America!)

A closer shot of Elijah the cowboy!

Zackary (& his new Mommy Deidra!)

Adorable Cammy (as Dora!)

New baby Aidan (dressed as Tigger!)

My nephew Jake (with Uncle Norm at the Fair)

These children are all so incredibly special & I love them all!

"What children take from us, they give....We become people who feel more deeply, question more deeply, hurt more deeply and love more deeply." Sonia Taitz

How He Teaches Me...

2007-10-18T14:08:00.001-05:00

I can honestly say that I have learned more about God & how He loves me through my own children, than in any other way. I can often hear Him whisper to me as I correct a stubborn child or when my heart breaks for them. I can so see how He loves us, so unconditionally, as a parent loves their child. I recently had a conversation with someone who had been babysitting a friend's baby. As this child slept in her arms, all she could think of was the awesome potential of this beautiful little girl & what amazing things might be in her future. At this point in their life, the sky's the limit! The potential is endless & you can't even imagine anything in their world that would not be beautiful & perfect. As I listened to my friend, I thought back to the many times that things didn't go the way I had hoped in the life of one of my children. You see them struggle & want so much to jump in & make everything all better, but you know you cannot. They learn through their struggles, through their mistakes. I can only offer loving arms to wrap around them and an ear to listen. You think back to that baby & all their potential, and wonder how you ever got to this place. My children are no different than me. Than any of you. Who of us hasn't struggled? Who of us hasn't fallen, stumbled or made mistakes. I know that it breaks my mother's heart because I only want good things in their lives. But no matter how many mistakes they may make, I in no way love them any less. I can just imagine God standing back watching me fail, sometimes time & time again, and I can imagine His father's heart breaking...for me. But I also know that no matter what, He promises to "never leave me nor forsake me". I know that because of His Son, I don't have to be perfect in order to earn His love for me. My children don't have to earn my love for them either. I love them simply because they are mine, gifts given to me by my Father. Holding them as infants it would never occur to me to think that I would only love them if they didn't screw up! Thankfully, we too have a Father who doesn't stop loving us when we screw up! I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He will always love me, just as I know I will always love my children. Unearned, unconditional, unending.

The Beauty of the Barter...

2007-10-14T19:49:00.000-05:00

Okay, it is totally NOT my style to show many pictures of myself. Today, however, I'm going to show off just a tiny bit. Well, to be honest, I'm not showing off myself as much as the gifted talent of my friend Meredith. While her husband was away bow hunting this weekend, Meredith graciously agreed to cut & color my overgrown mess of hair in her home. I had priced out the salon I've been going to for years and just couldn't afford it since neither my son nor I work there anymore (working there = significant discounts). Meredith is an extremely gifted hair stylist who works in a very lovely, exclusive salon that I also cannot afford. She & I got to talking the other day and came up with an excellent way to bless each other. Here's what she did for me...

Yeah, my friend added some beautiful highlights & cut about 6 inches off my hair! Happy day! It really was driving me crazy. And what does she get out of it you ask? On Thursday of this week, I am going to clean her entire home. Yes, that is my current mode of employment & one that a woman heading into her 3rd trimester seemed all too happy to accept. She thinks she got the better end of the deal. Looking at these pictures, I beg to differ. She has got talent! I just have a love of cleanliness & order. But, if it makes her & Erik happy, then I will have done my job.

Can I tell you that I LOVE the barter system??!! I have always thought that this is the way to go. Especially for those of us who are a little financially challenged. Like Cliff works on my son's car, I cook him & his family a meal or babysit their boy. It all works out in the end, each side usually feeling like they got the better end of the deal. In a perfect world, we could all make use of the barter system, since I'm pretty sure God gave us all gifts, or at least like in my case, abilities, that others can make use of. I guess it could get tricky when you're say a surgeon, a garbage collector or maybe a mime... But, hey, on a personal level, its working pretty well in my world.

And not only did Meredith send me home with stylish new hair, complete with covered up roots, she gave me a 1/2 dozen homemade cookies! She's the best... Thank you Meredith!!! I love you!

(And thank you Cliff!!!)

Good Cop/Bad Cop...

2007-10-01T19:14:00.000-05:00

Say you're driving along & you see a cop, maybe tucked behind a tree or in the u-turn lane of the 290, what do you automatically do?? C'mon, you know...you look down at your speedometer, right? I saw a cop car the other day and did that very thing. In that brief moment, I felt annoyed by his presence. It seems to me that all they do all day long is drive around trying to bust innocent speeding drivers going about their business. Sometimes we don't even THINK about how fast we're going until we see a cop.

So, I got to thinking that don't we sometimes view God this way? Like, we just go about our business, at full speed usually, and don't really think much about Him. Until...yeah, until, we need Him or when we mess up. Contrary to some beliefs, God doesn't just sit around waiting for us to screw up so He can wield lightening bolts at us. While we're expected to live our life as free from sin as possible, He knows our human weakness & is full of mercy. He is our Father who loves & cares for us...rescues us when we are in need.

Let us not forget that this same cop who works hard to keep us all in line, also keeps us safe, day in & day out. This same cop may work at getting a drug dealer off the street or pull over the drunk driver before he kills someone, or generally makes our quiet neighborhoods safe. He even puts his own life on the line...each day...for us. Does that sound like someone we know? We may not want to be reminded that we're doing things we shouldn't be doing (aka sinning), but oh how we cry out to God when we're in trouble. We don't like the cop forcing us to slow down, or heaven forbid, have him pull us over...but we sure would be quick to dial up 911 if someone was breaking into our home. Guess we can't have it both ways, can we? We can't call out to God in times of need, but ignore His presence in our lives the rest of the time. That cop is just doing his job, and if we just follow the rules, we'll never feel the pain of his lights flashing in our rear view mirror.

When is the Past....Past?

2007-09-29T08:43:00.001-05:00

Have you ever gone through something big, some life-changing event or situation, and found that you never quite moved past it? Even with all the well-meaning advice of those around you encouraging you to "move on", it was always an elusive concept? I've been watching my teenage daughter struggle to "let go" of a relationship for almost a year now. Seems inconceivable to me that a person or situation can have that kind of hold on one's life. But there it is. Stares her in the face every morning. Things remind her, people ask questions, and boom, she's right back where she started. The proverbial two steps forward, one step back. Is she making progress? I guess time will tell. Her youth doesn't make it easier because she doesn't have the gift of hindsight that her more experienced parents have. We know that hearts do heal, eventually. Like a badly skinned knee, it may always show the scar, but it will heal. All she knows is that it hurts...now...and there just doesn't seem to be a light at the end of this tunnel. I truly believe that her hearts' desire is to be done, to put it all behind her...but human emotion is a powerful thing. Thankfully, she has some amazing friends that have "been there" for her along the way, and I pray that she seeks God for the strength she lacks.

Recently, I had an extended family member question why Norm & I left EHWC. We haven't talked much about this situation with our families because its hard to explain. On the one hand you want to be honest and make your point so they understand it, on the other, you don't want to be one of those people found being vocally critical of a church or its pastor. Doesn't seem quite right to us to vent our pain "out there" for the general public...or even family members. We have the gift of close friends to share our frustrations with along the way when necessary, but for the most part, like our teenage daughter, we're trying to move on. This family member questioned us because apparently someone from the church (nice) filled her in on why she thought we left, you know, the popular opinion of an event, devoid of actual fact. The things shared were surprisingly hurtful. Just when I thought I was over something. Just when I truly believed I had moved on, there it was, staring me in the face. And it made me angry...all over again. Once again, I find myself having to give over my human emotions, hurts, frustrations to my God who loves me. Once again, I have to find it in my heart to forgive & to move on. I know I lack this gift, so I trust God to give me what it takes to forgive...and hopefully, eventually....forget.

My daughter's perspective, which is amazing because she's only 17, is that these are the events in our lives that shape who we are, and what we are to become. Essentially, we find out who we really are through these struggles & that God uses them to point us in the direction He wants us to go. Pretty deep stuff...especially when you're a teenage girl with a broken heart. Or maybe a more mature version in her mother. Its all the same...trust God and His plan. Leave the hurts to Him, let Him teach me how to forgive, keep my eyes on what's ahead. Looking back teaches me, but it sometimes hurts too much. I'm sure she'd agree. For her, she wants to study psychology when she heads to college next year. Makes perfect sense. For me, I'm not as clear. But I trust God to lead me where He wants me to go. I'm excited about the future...and desire with all my heart to leave the past exactly where it belongs...in the past.

The Good, the Bad & the Ugly.....

2007-09-18T20:04:00.000-05:00

We just had an awesome weekend in Michigan visiting my brother & his family. One of those whirlwind get-aways that is filled to the max. On Saturday we had decided to check out the University of Michigan campus since both Sam & my nephew Adam are graduating this year and in the mode of college searching. The extra treat for the day were free, yes free, tickets to the U of M vs. Notre Dame football game. It was insane! Students everywhere, thousands of them! The campus itself is gorgeous, rich in tradition with beautiful old buildings covered in ivy...just what you'd imagine a college campus looking like. And, it is ranked one of the top state schools in the country. So, that's the "good".

The "bad" is the unbelievable whooping the U of M football team put on Notre Dame! A crushing 38-0 for the final score. The crowd, numbered at around 110,000, was crazed. The players are most definitely "bad", as was their student cheering section that stood the entire game...chanting, singing & waving their pom-poms in unison.

The "ugly"...well let's just say that I've always heard about frat houses, but other than watching "Animal House", have never witnessed the sight for myself. It was a sight to behold. Droves of students partying everywhere on campus, but most notably on the front lawns, porches, balconies, and yes, roofs of their frat houses. Some even climbing out of 2nd & 3rd story windows. Plenty of alcohol to go around to be sure & stereo speakers the size of compact cars booming in competition to the house next door. I'm disappointed to say that I have no pics of this spectacle, I think I was too much in awe to actually pull out my camera. Some of our group witnessed a girl throwing up into a cardboard box out on the street. I, thankfully, was fortunate enough to have missed this girl's proud moment.

So, this is college. I guess in today's culture you can't have one without the others. As my daughter tells me, you can't avoid it no matter where you go to school, it just comes down to your own personal choice. I pray she's making and will continue to make good ones. I've even had students from Christian colleges tell me about the partying going on there. No campus is immune.....again, its all about personal choice. We've got a lot to pray about. Temptation is a hard thing to battle when you're only 18 years old. You want them to have an awesome college experience, realizing that the cost could be more than just the price of tuition.

All in all....U of M is an amazing place...beauty everywhere & prestigious in its dispensing of education. You take it as it is....the good, the bad & the ugly.

"Me Mode" or "Christ Mode"???

2007-09-10T20:55:00.000-05:00

This was sent to me by my good friend Isidore, it was an online devotional. Its also a great modern lesson on an ancient truth. And while the author's name is Dave, I'm pretty sure I could insert my name just as easily. How about yours?

WORKLIFE LESSON: WORKING IN CHRIST

Thursday, August 30, 2007

My laptop is a Macintosh G3. The G3 is unique in that it can run on two different operating systems. It can run the new improved versions of OS X, but it can also still work in "Classic Mode" for software written for OS 9. My worklife is like my Mac G3; it must decide between two operating systems. This morning I had to think about how I was going to approach my week. According to the Apostle Paul, I can face the day in "Dave" mode or I can choose to work "in Christ."
"In Dave" mode is my default software. Paul called it my "flesh." If I just get up and go, I'm running in Dave. Dave is an old operating system I learned long ago. It feels comfortable. It gets me by.
Unfortunately, Dave is dysfunctional. It has many systems conflicts. It has its own protocols, so it is not very compatible with other computers. It is riddled with viruses that cause all kinds of problems. Dave worries about what others think and that bogs down its processor. Dave gets angry when a problem frustrates its path. Dave tries to run too many programs at once, opening up future issues and attempting to continually reprocess them. When Dave gets overwhelmed it locks up and goes into screen saver mode papering over its problems with a series of daydream scenes of a different imagined present. I don't recommend Dave as a system software. But I know you already have a unique corrupt version of your own.
"In Christ" is a new operating system that I own. In Christ, however, has none of Dave's issues. It is completely de-bugged and virus free. In Christ works because it was designed by my hardware manufacturer. It is what I was wired to run on. It is based on several radical applications.
The first is "Grace." Grace means a scrubbed hard-drive and the promise of unlimited future support. Grace is such a refreshing change from guilt-ridden and resource-strapped Dave.
Grace comes bundled with "Life." Life came to me through a complete inner restoration. It is a completely new processor. Life is what Dave lacked as an isolated unit. Life has spiritual connectivity.
Another is "forgiveness." Forgiveness is a utility that allows me to interface with other infected computers. It intercepts and absolves their faults. Dave could never do that. It always used other's flaws against them. Forgiveness extends to others the grace that it has received.
My favorite application of the "in Christ" office suite is "Adoption." Adoption is my God-given new identity. It is a completely new username and password. It gives me direct access to my designer. It means I can IM him any time I want. It means He IM's me when He's thinking of me. I no longer work alone. I have the ultimate ally with unlimited computing capability. I am eternally connected.
"In Christ" does not have the problems of "in Dave," but it must be manually installed. Sometimes I am just too lazy to go through the boot-up, and I run in Dave even though I know its hazards. So, which will it be today? What system will I choose to operate in?
This morning, as I logged onto my day, I was encouraged by something Paul wrote. Perhaps it will encourage you too:

"And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience.

Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging in the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were children of wrath, even as the rest.

But, God being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved) and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places, in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come he might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.

For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, that no one should boast.

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we would walk in them." (Eph. 2:1-10 NASB)

Decisions, decisions....

2007-08-28T21:16:00.000-05:00

So, its been awhile. I guess I've had a lot on my mind. But not just me, my daughter as well. We're both facing some pretty big decisions, you know, the kind that are life changing. I've promised my ever-patient husband that I would have a regular job by the time school started. He has allowed me the luxury of spending time with my children this summer, especially since Alex was on his way out of our home. Our life has been full & crazy & my ability to focus on them has been an enormous blessing. I've also had the wonderful opportunity to help out some friends who have needed help with moving, various home projects & looking after their small beautiful children. I thank God for allowing this, and I thank Norm for giving me this gift this summer. I also owe much thanks to my friend Phil who saw fit to employ me for various organizational projects in his home/office so I wasn't completely broke all summer...but I can't shake the feeling that he & his wife have blessed me way more than I have blessed them. Thanks to you both. I recently have been offered a new job that, on initial examination, seems like something that I would be holding out for. I'm just not sure its the right thing for me. While I'm grateful that I am being considered for this job, its taking some serious thought & prayer to make sure it will not only suit me, but also my family.

My daughter is going to be a senior this year. If you remember what that's like, the pressure is on to choose a college. At the very least, narrow it down to a reasonable number and start the application process. We did take her to visit Geneseo (picture) & she really liked it. But who knows...its just the beginning. She is debating between living near home or whether to venture out a little further in the world. We're both finding ourselves needing to understand what God has for us. These are those times when you cannot simply trust you're own instincts.

In reading my friend Erik's blog recently, he's asking "What's the point?" As in, what are we really doing with our lives? I realize that every decision hinges on this. His point is beautifully made (please check it out - his link is in my list of friends). I believe that decisions about jobs we should take, schools we should attend, churches we should commit to (or not), homes we should live in, should all be run through the filter of not just what's best for us, but what will help make a difference in the world around us. Its hard...you want to take care of your family, but you also want to care about more than who's inside your own 4 walls. Again, I'm grateful that God has allowed me the time to be a blessing to those friends who have needed some extra hands, but I know that He needs me to do more. And while my daughter needs to choose where to get her education, she also needs to understand where she can make a difference in the lives of others. It's all a balancing act, loving yourself, your family & your neighbors - and praying that our decisions reflect them all. But mostly, for me, its loving the Lord enough to trust Him, and making the best use of the crazy & wonderful life He's given me.

P.S. Your prayers in all this would be greatly appreciated... Thank you.

God's Hands...

2007-08-08T12:07:00.000-05:00

Have you ever experienced a time in your life when you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that you were in God's hands? I mean I know as Christians we "know" this, but aren't there just real times when you know, that you know, that you know, "I wouldn't get through this if I wasn't in His hands?" Or you feel the details of an event in your life fall so perfectly into place that you, once again, know you are cared for & directed by His mighty yet loving & gentle hands? It's hard to even go into detail here of all the changes, major changes, that have and are occurring in my life. From one child leaving the "nest" to begin his life in a whole different state, to the other traveling across the ocean to minister to others, being unable to communicate with us while she's gone. From losing a home and jobs, to friends moving, to seeking a new place to worship. All of this, piled one on-top the other. And yet, as we traveled to & from Florida to help settle our son in his new home, I had an overwhelming feeling of being in His care. I know that He began the work of our being able to let our son go long before we had our final hugs. We marveled day after day at how wonderful this journey was, how He allowed us to leave our son with a peace in our spirit & a limited amount of tears. While we'll miss him, to be sure, there's this beautiful peace that it was God's perfect timing for him and for us. Our son was ready...and so were we. To any parent, you know, this is a miracle. Our daughter arrived safely home late Sunday night, exhausted yet elated at the experience God had blessed her with. Friends of ours were in a pretty serious car accident that very night & walked away with minor injuries. Again, we rejoiced in the loving way He took care of them...how He takes care of all of us. I love Him beyond words & trust Him each day with the crazy details of my life. I don't know where I'd be without Him & praise Him that I'll never know. I am forever His child...who truly has learned how to "rest" in her Father's hands. I pray the same for you.

Florida Bound...

2007-07-25T20:12:00.000-05:00

So, the day has finally come. No more introspections or reflections. No more analyzing how surreal it will be to be to take our boy to his new home in Florida. Tomorrow, we make the journey...guess its the journey he's been on since the day he was born. We're just blessed to have been along for the ride.

Please keep us in your prayers... See you all soon.

"Czech" it Out...(ouch!)

2007-07-23T09:38:00.001-05:00

Sam off to the Czech Republic...

So, here's the final packed suitcase...just so you know it was 8 lbs over the limit. Thankfully a friend was about 10 lbs under, so we made some quick switches. Thanks Shanelle!!

Sam all checked in, getting ready to go (yeah, that's her brother making faces behind her...what are brothers for???)

Alex & Sam say their good-byes. Do they realize they won't be seeing each other until Christmas?? I don't think that sunk into Sam's mind yet...too much else to think about right now.

Some of Sam's best friends....Pat, Dan & Austin. Can you imagine traveling to Europe with THESE guys???

The team....please keep all these beautiful faces in your prayers.

Thank you!

Celebrations & Farewells...

2007-07-21T07:45:00.000-05:00

Today we're celebrating my son's "almost" 20th birthday (since his birthday isn't actually until Sept., but he'll be long gone by then). How can he be turning 20 when I'm only 30??? Must be some kind of space continuum physics phenomena... Anyway, we are also taking today to say good-bye to Alex as he prepares to head down to college to continue his education down in Florida. We're driving him down next week. I know I've blogged about the incredible speed in which they grow, but seriously its warp speed! So, in honor of the 20 years we've been blessed to have him, today we will celebrate....and then say good-bye.

But he's not the only one we're preparing to see go. My daughter will be leaving early Monday morning for the Czech Republic. She, along with a group of teens & leaders from her youth group, are headed for a 2-week missions trip to the Czech, working with children at a youth camp. Sixteen years old & she's going to the Czech Republic. What was I doing at 16??? Well, that's another blog... I'm extremely proud of her. She raised her money, got herself organized (with a little help from Mom) and is excited now for these next 2 weeks to do what God has asked her to do. Again, we're very proud.

Please keep my family in your prayers over these next few weeks. Lots of transition. It will be odd to not have my son in my home, but I'm excited for him as he heads into this next phase of his life. Will I be able to hold off until Christmas to see him?? Time will tell.... I'm going to miss both my "kids" tremendously over the next few weeks & months....so again, please keep us in your prayers. Pray for God's protection on them, for His graceful direction in their lives & for direction in mine as well. I have this feeling that this next year is going to be quite interesting.

But today, we celebrate...the rest we'll trust Him with. Have a great weekend my friends...

Fresh Approach...

2007-07-09T14:02:00.000-05:00

So, here's another way to approach "church". This Pastor, Dan Smith, uses rap music (more specifically, reworked rap music) to reach the unchurched. Maybe you've seen one of his videos "Baby Got Book", its hilarious! Its a parody on the rap song "Baby Got Back". If you haven't seen it, check out a recent article I found on Yahoo News - you'll find the video included. Don't be offended!

http://potw.news.yahoo.com/s/potw/20253/jesus-laughed

Smith says this about the church he runs in a local movie theatre in Cleveland, "We're not trying to reach other Christians. If you love your church, stay at your church. That's awesome. But for people who haven't gone in ten years — or all of their lives — I think there's a lot of people who might need to hear the message of 'maybe this might be the church that I can go to. The same church, Smith says, that welcomes people who cuss, watch R-rated movies and smell like cigarettes; the church where "Baby Got Book" is always in rotation and whose services are available by Podcast if you just happen to sleep in some Sunday.'" Now, I'm not saying that this would be the church for me necessarily, but I do appreciate people who are trying to examine what church really means and how they can best reach God's children. I also appreciate a fresh approach. If its making people laugh, having church in a movie theatre, creating Christian music videos, then so be it. I don't believe there's any one right way to worship God. I have read a few blogs recently about what true Christianity is. It isn't necessarily easy to define. Sometimes I think its as individual & personal as our relationships with Him are. It's not HOW we worship, just that we worship. Its not WHERE we choose to connect with Him, its that we do. Its not a style, but more importantly its finding ourselves being followers of Christ, or more to the point, Christ "imitators". I really want to find a place again that I can call my church home. I want to be surrounded by a church family again. I know He will lead me there, eventually. But, truthfully, that isn't what defines me as a Christian. How I live my life on a daily basis, how I strive to be more & more Christlike, how I put others ahead of myself, how I love...that's what makes me a true Christian. I'm not always fond of the word "Christian" either. Its a muddy, discriminatory, even derogatory term these days. It can suggest anything from weekend attender to "bull horn man". I prefer the term "Christ-follower". The implication is not a label as much as a way of life. It implies action. I don't want a label on my chest pronouncing "CHRISTIAN" like some well-worn badge. I'd prefer that my actions would speak for themselves. That how I choose to live my life shows that I am a follower of Christ. Its a daily choice, not to mention a daily struggle. Not an easy target to hit & I often miss the mark (by alot!). But its in the striving, and knowing that He knows my heart; it's in the knowledge that I am His dearly loved child, even when I don't get it exactly right.

Family, Fireworks & Foul Weather...

2007-07-05T19:39:00.000-05:00

Despite the lousy weather on the 4th, we managed to have some fun with family. The weather even cleared so we could check out some fireworks. I just love this odd tradition! Looking around at my fellow revelers, it occurred to me that we've gladly immersed ourselves in the crazy American culture. It is what it is....and it's only once a year...

These are just some shots from the day. Hope yours rocked too!

Hey...we did our best....

Dad & Jeff grilling in the rain. How sad...

Sam & Jesse escaping the rain - watching TV

Grandma & Grandpa with the grand kids - Sam, Alex, Adam, Jesse & Sophia

Me & my "big brother" Dave...love him!!

First cousins...Sam & Sophia!

Grandpa & his "little pupka"....Sophia!

My "baby sister" Amy & her husband Jeff.

Dave & his lovely wife Barb

Me & my beautiful sister Amy. Yes...I'm older...

Me & my Mom...she's the sweetest woman on earth!

Me & "Stormin"....cute, huh??

Hope you had fun, wherever you are
& whatever you did.
And I hope that you were as blessed with great
people to celebrate with as I was!
Even if the hot dogs got wet....

Freedom...

2007-07-03T07:24:00.000-05:00

Humility

at the lives
the heroism
the bravery
the sacrifice
the love
the honor
the absolute integrity

of those who fought...
and died

so that I,
and my children...
may be free.

God eternally bless all of your souls,

gratefully yours,

(By Greg Duggan Copyright 2005)

Enjoy your day with with friends & family!

I Love You & God bless you all...

Spoiled Americans?

2007-06-27T08:35:00.000-05:00

I'm told that the author of the following commentary was none other than Jay Leno. Now I can't actually prove that he wrote this and I do find it hard to imagine a liberal performer in Hollywood having these types of opinions...but, hey, you never know. Even if it wasn't actually penned by Jay, its a great thought. Now I'm not one to use another's words on my blog, but I really liked this. So, here goes....think what you will.

"The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some poll data I found rather hard to believe. It must be true given the source, right? The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with the direction the country is headed and 69 percent of the country is unhappy with the performance of the president. In essence 2/3s of the citizenry just ain't happy and want a change.

So being the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking, ''What are we so unhappy about?''

Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the summer and heating in the winter? Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks have a job? Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any time and see more food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last year?

Maybe it is the ability to drive from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean without having to present identification papers as we move through each state? Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would find along the way that can provide temporary shelter? I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world is just not good enough. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers show up and provide services to help all and even send a helicopter to take you to the hospital.

Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home. You may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to extinguish the flames thus saving you, your family and your belongings. Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or prowler intrudes , an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and your family against attack or loss. This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and pillaging the residents Neighborhoods where 90 percent of teenagers own cell phones and computers.

How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of everyone in the world? Maybe that is what has 67 percent of you folks unhappy.

Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U.S., yet has a great disdain for its citizens. They see us for what we are. The most blessed people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have, and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here.

I know, I know. What about the president who took us into war and has no plan to get us out? The president who has a measly 31 percent approval rating? Is this the same president who guided the nation in the dark days after 9/11? The president that cut taxes to bring an economy out of recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in the book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled ungrateful brats safe from terrorist attacks? The Commander in Chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending you and me? Did you hear how bad the President is on the news or talk show? Did this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy you couldn't take a look around for yourself and see all the good things and be glad?

Think about it......are you upset at the President because he actually caused you personal pain OR is it because the "media" told you he was failing to kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every day.

Make no mistake about it. The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many cases may have died for your freedom. There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go. They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a ''general'' discharge, an ''other than honorable'' discharge or, worst case scenario, a ''dishonorable'' discharge after a few days in the brig.

So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent of Americans? Say what you want but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds it leads and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car crash with blood and guts. How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the corner? The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit corporations. They offer what sells, and when criticized, try to defend their actions by "justifying" them in one way or another. Just ask why they tried to allow a murderer like O.J. Simpson to write a book about how he didn't kill his wife, but if he did he would have done it this way......Insane!

Stop buying the negativism you are fed everyday by the media. Shut off the TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your bird cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as a country. There is exponentially more good than bad. We are among the most blessed peoples on Earth and should thank God several times a day, or at least be thankful and appreciative.

With hurricanes, tornadoes, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

Jay Leno

Feeling Loved...Needing Direction

2007-06-25T20:11:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, I went to church. Not a big deal right? I've been faithfully attending church for the last 15 years (with the notable exception of the last 3 months). But lately, I guess you can say that I've been a bit "burned out" on church. While I know that I should be in attendance somewhere, I have had zero motivation to start seeking a new one. Why is that? The last time God led us out of a church, He led us straight to the new one. Back then, however, my children were young & I believe God knew we couldn't afford a "gap" like the one we're sitting in now. Norm & I are feeling more than a little disillusioned on the institution of church & have not felt any clear direction as to where we were headed. Yesterday, we went to church...because a friend invited us. It was a very freeing moment. The experience was real & sincere, and overall felt...well....sweet. Not only did we hear a great message, but I was once again able to worship alongside dear friends. That's when I felt loved. Loved by His children worshipping around me...but more importantly by my Heavenly Father. I had a brief conversation with the church pastor afterwards & his words of compassion & his sincere caring reassured me that His servants are out there motivated by a passionate love of Christ & a need to love His children. I don't know if this is where God is leading us, it feels irrelevant at this point. In reading my friend Jim's recent blog, I know what we've been waiting for. Not a big surprise....but trying to be patient with God & His perfect timing for us all. In the meantime, I know that His servants are everywhere - leading, encouraging, supporting....loving. I feel stronger today...and loved. Thank you Lord.

A Tribute to the "Red Truck"...

2007-06-14T13:11:00.001-05:00

This is what my friend Cliff likes to do for fun. He is trading his camper top from his Blazer for another guy's cap top (these photos show the finished products). A man Cliff connected with through a Chevy Blazer message board (yes, there is such a thing) drove all the way from Pittsburgh to make the trade (apparently he has 29 Blazers at home). It took them about 7 hours to remove & switch. What looks like tiring, tedious work to me, was like the Fourth of July and Christmas all rolled into one for Cliff! He was in "truck heaven". Cliff has this old red Chevy Blazer that, next to his wife & foster son (I think), is his "pride & joy". Now, I know for some it doesn't look like much & maybe we don't understand his attachment, but to Cliff, he's never happier than when he can be working on that truck. He spends many hours on e-bay or perusing countless magazines looking for just the right parts in attempts to once again get it up & running, returning it to its original glory. He also won't hesitate to drive many more hours to purchase some part that he needs. To watch him & his new friend from Pittsburgh, you'd see that this is more than fixing up a truck, this is love. Again, this is what Cliff does for fun. The red truck pictured here is Cliff's, he's had it since he graduated high school & even towed it all the way from Texas to NYS when he moved here. You see, Cliff was born & raised a Texan. I believe that his attachment to this truck is reminding all us "Yankees" of just that. It's his little piece of home, if you will. While I think Cliff got the better end of the deal here, the man from Pittsburgh drove away happy. What do Deidra & Zackary do for fun while Cliff's "playing with his new friend," check it out...

They are a beautiful & unique little family & I love them all dearly. Even when the "red truck" is parked in front of our house unmoving for months on end, even when people from Pittsburgh spend the day in my driveway, I love this quirky Texan family! They are also 2 of the most generous people you'd ever want to meet. To Cliff, everything is "no problem", whether its fixing your car, driving you somewhere, or dog sitting, you can never inconvenience him. Deidra loves to cook but has this crazy ability to only cook in large quantities. It's a pain for her, but its always a blessing to my hungry family. I've learned to appreciate green chili stew, corn bread, fried okra, anything Mexican & even biscuits & gravy! I know that their time living here at the "M&M Compound", as we like call it, is limited. They, like the red truck, need to return to Texas. I can't blame them, there's nothing like being close to family. But they have become my family & I will miss them tremendously. I will miss their friendship, playing cards, eating enormous meals, and dare I say it, even miss the red truck. What landmark will I tell people when trying to find my house?? So, there it is, a tribute to a red truck & to the family that owns it. Who's your favorite now Cliff?? ;)

Weary Travelers...

2007-06-11T09:22:00.000-05:00

At first glance, this group may not look like much. Kind of a "rag-tag" group of Western New Yorkers melting in the Mississippi sun. What you can't see is the amazing heart that is inside each one of them. Herein lies a mix of personalities, talents, strengths, backgrounds, sizes & ages all used to serve God in a most astounding way. No matter what the task, they were up for it. It didn't matter if it was 95 degrees with 100% humidity; it didn't matter if they were surrounded by black mold & pounds of rotted insulation and dry wall needing to be removed. The focus was clear. Serve God, serve His people. I don't think that thought was ever clearly vocalized, but it is without a doubt the resounding goal of each one of them. Nobody backed down from a job, complained or put their own physical needs ahead of another's. The house we are standing in front of belonged to a beautiful 73-year old gentleman by the name of Dale (seen in picture with Alicia). He built this home with his own hands. Using a bit of imagination, we could see what a lovely place it must have been. That was before Katrina came & dumped unimaginable amounts of water over it. The roof didn't hold, the house was flooded, FEMA moved in too late & this man had a home standing in ruins for nearly 2 years. Stepping through his front door was like stepping back in time, since nothing had really been touched since she blew through. He spent a 1 1/2 years sleeping on an inflatable mattress in a storeroom in the restaurant he owns, until he was granted a FEMA trailer, now positioned behind his home. He told us that many had come to see him, all promising to return to help. No one did. Until this minimally skilled but big-hearted group arrived from over 1200 miles away. What happened next is nothing short of a miracle & without a doubt - TO GOD BE THE GLORY! We emptied all the contents of his home, tore out rugs & padding, demolished walls & ceilings. This task took a mere 2 days. Again, miraculous. We were provided large dump trucks to remove the debris. We filled 5 of them. We left behind a house that can now be rebuilt & a teary-eyed, extremely grateful southern gentleman who we now call our friend. We did not have the strength, endurance or skill to accomplish what we did. "If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever." (1 Peter 4:11) The drive alone was grueling, but again, we were given the strength & endurance to make the 22-hour trip twice in one week. Lots of music, games & interesting conversation made that trip not just bearable, but actually fun. These beautiful servants became family in one short week. They worked hard, laughed hard, slept little, ate strange food & took care of each other. I love you my fellow travelers, my new extended family. Again, TO GOD BE THE GLORY!! (More to come...) (Check out the Impact Missions website for more pictures of our week or the Gulfport Photo Album both sited on the right)

Gulfport Bound...

2007-05-22T14:26:00.000-05:00

In a little less than 2 weeks, myself & 11 others will be headed to Gulfport, MS, to do relief work in the Hurricane Katrina battered gulf coast area. (This is an actual photo of Hurricane Katrina). I've been doing a lot of praying for our team - safety, team unity, smooth travel. Then I heard a report on this morning's news. Forecasters are predicting a "busier than normal" hurricane season for 2007. The National Weather Service forecasters said they expect 13 to 17 tropical storms, with seven to 10 of them becoming hurricanes. I also read the following, "with a death toll of more than 1,500, Katrina was the third deadliest hurricane in U.S. history. It was also the costliest ever, with $80 billion in damages." Is that not an incredible statistic? It has been 2 years since Hurricane Katrina, and there is still much work to be done. My prayers have now done a shift off of myself & our team and towards the people who live along the gulf coast. I was part of a team last year that went down to Gulfport & the stories people had to share were unreal. I'm sure that when they hear predictions like the one above, they are full of fear. Many have outright left the area knowing that they could not face this type of catastrophe a second time. (This is a picture of what was left of a church along the coast in Gulfport, MS. ) So, as our team prepares to go, I ask for your prayers. Not just for us, although that would be greatly appreciated, but more so for the people who call this area home. May they feel comforted by those who come to be servants in the name of Christ, knowing that they are not alone. May they, as well as us, remember what His Word says in 2 Timothy 1:7 (King James is my favorite version of this scripture), "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." Thank you all for your prayers...and thank you Lord for calling each one of us to do Your work for Your people. Proverbs 3:27 tells us, "Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act."

Beautiful Gifts...

2007-05-15T09:32:00.000-05:00

This gorgeous bouquet was proudly presented to me by my 19-year old son Alex at brunch. It was wrapped so beautifully, I felt like Mrs. America (sorry Kelly!). We met up with my parents & sister (it was her very first Mothers' Day!) at The Old Red Mill for Mothers' Day brunch. Thank you Alex!

This amazing picture was drawn by my 16-year old daughter Sam for an art project. You really have to click on it to get the full effect on just how beautiful it is! She knows how much I love things made with their own hands, so once graded, it became my Mothers' Day gift. She even made me a hand-made card...haven't seen one of those since the 4th grade! This picture sits proudly on the shelf in my family room. Thank you Sam!

After a nice hike with my husband along Tonawanda Creek, we picked Sam up from work & headed down to the Niagara River (one of my favorite locations). Since I was still pretty full from brunch, we fed Sam, & Norm & I shared a plate of clams casino. More walking along the river (Norm & Sam not too happy at this point...but indulging Mom's need to be outdoors), and of course....finish the day with an ice cream cone.

Lots of tough days lately, this loss of job has turned out to be a lot harder than I would have imagined. I think to express it most accurately, I feel like I'm greiving. There are good & bad days, but I often seem to be filled with a great sadness. It's sometimes hard to explain to people, but something very significant has been taken from me...this beautiful thing we called Epic. It was my place to worship, it was my place to hear from God, it was my place to connect with some of the most important people in my life - my Christian family. It's now gone, and seemingly for no reason. Every Sunday now could be like being at a wake...except for special days like I had here. Surrounded by my family, God shows me He loves me & wants to comfort me. I'm given some of the most beautiful gifts in the world...my family & my Father's love.

Mother's Day Tribute...

2007-05-13T08:07:00.000-05:00

To all the beautiful Mom's I know....you are an inspiration to me..enjoy the day!

Mom & Sophia

My sister Amy & Sophia

Deidra & Zackary

Kelly & Elijah
(missing are Morgan & Cameron!)

Heather & Sydney

Heather, Deidra & Sandy
(in a rare moment WITHOUT their kids!
Playing games on New Years Eve)

My Sisters-in-law
Karen & Barb

Mollie & Lilly
(& Kevin, of course!)

My friend Penny in FL
(with her son Colin & my Sam)

Baba Sproull (also known as Sharon)
& Cameron

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO YOU ALL!!!!

Don't Blink....

2007-05-09T12:53:00.000-05:00

When my son Alex was a little boy, one of his favorite things to do was play Batman. I had made the investment at one point in an actual Batman costume, complete with superhero cape, and he literally wore it out. Since the cape did not last long, he began using anything as a cape (or a "cate", as he would say) - towels, small blankets, etc., tied or pinned around his neck Even at his grandparents house, he'd ask grandma, "Can you make me a cate?" I think he realized that a true superhero should really never be out of uniform. This picture is of our little friend Elijah. For his 3rd birthday, my family bought him a real Batman costume complete with, you guessed it, superhero cape. If you know Elijah, you know he loves to play dress up & he loves any kind of superhero. He also loves Alex (and vice versa). Since my son was not little in the digital photo era, I don't have a picture of him in costume, but I think Elijah represents himself, Alex & all superhero's well! Elijah's 3rd birthday was 2 weeks ago. I got to thinking that it feels like Alex's 3rd birthday was 3 weeks ago! The truth is, my little superhero will be celebrating his "20th" birthday this coming September. He will also be moving to Florida in July to finish his education. How can this be? When did all that growing up happen? Wasn't he just 3? Didn't he just run through my house with a "cate" flapping behind him? Didn't he just pitch in his first real baseball game or sing in his first school play? Didn't he just start kindergarten? Or middle school? Or even high school?? I stand in amazement at the warp speed that my son has grown. From a tiny, completely dependent little guy, to a fully independent, thoughtful, sweet young man....all in the blink of an eye. He gave us much joy over the years, so many sweet memories. As I watch him prepare to go, I am filled with pride for the young man he has grown to be. I'm also filled with excitement, as he embarks on this new journey in his life. Yes, there's sadness as well, but it is far outweighed by the knowledge that we have raised a confident, loving, compassionate, funny, godly young man, who will always be my "superhero".

Looking Back...

2007-05-01T14:55:00.000-05:00

I know, I know... Time to move on, time to look forward, no backwards glances, no living in the past. But hold on... I need to I take a breath. Can I take just a moment in time to look back & appreciate where I've been? The job I just left was without a doubt the best I've ever had. It was full of amazing people, crazy adventures, hard work. I have had the privilege to serve God as I served His children...whether they were teenagers, college students or young adults. I learned much, laughed often...cried some. While I loved it all, it was not without its challenges. I was always surrounded by younger people & had to continually learn (or at least try) to adapt to a different generation's way of thinking. I have often been stretched well beyond my comfort zone! And while I always thought working in a church would be the "ideal" job, I found that working where you worship is far more challenging than I could have ever imagined. Like any business, its run by people & people are never going to be perfect - including myself. But despite the insanity of the past few weeks, I would not trade this experience for the world. It was a gift from God & I pray I represented Him well. And if I've made even a fraction of a difference in others' lives as was made in mine, then it was all worth it. So, I look back, just for a moment... With tears, a smile & a heavy sigh, I will then look forward. I will trust God with what's ahead. After all, He is my past, my present & my future. And thank you to all of you who've been a part of my journey. I love you all. Cheers!

Gravity...

2007-04-19T22:14:00.000-05:00

Gravity - John Mayer
(my current favorite song)

Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down

Oh I'll never know what makes this man
With all the love that his heart can stand
Dream of ways to throw it all away

Oh Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down

Oh twice as much aint twice as good
And can't sustain like a one half could
It's wanting more
That's gonna send me to my knees

Oh gravity, stay the hell away from me
And gravity has taken better men than me (Now how can that be?)

Just keep me where the light is
Just keep me where the light is
Keep you all where the light is
Just keep us where the light is
Ohh.. where the light is!

I'll be having the wonderful opportunity to see John Mayer perform this live on Saturday night... a rare event with my 16-year old daughter...

What's Around the Corner?

2007-04-13T13:15:00.000-05:00

A few years ago I had the wonderful privilege of traveling to Costa Rica on a missions trip with a group of high school students. The country is beautiful, lush green and largely untouched. In fact, the movie "Jurassic Park" was filmed there, so you get the idea. One of the most harrowing experiences while there, however, was traveling from town to town. While this picture is not actually the bus we traveled in, it could be its twin! We rode around all packed into this bus with no air conditioning, in 90 degree heat & about 1000% humidity. While this may seem bad enough, we also traveled through many winding dirt roads that were extremely narrow. I remember times when I'd look out my window straight down a cliff. At these times, I usually would have all the students lean in the opposite direction convinced we were going to topple straight down (guardrails are not in the Costa Rican vocabulary)! There were also times when, like the picture here, you never knew what was around the corner. The roads in some places were so narrow that you realized that if something was coming from the opposite direction, you'd be done. Now, all this may not sound like fun to you, and I will admit to being uncomfortable, hot & tired at times. But it also was one of the most exciting times of my life. This not knowing what might be around the next turn, what might present itself, left you afraid, breathless & exhilarated all at the same time. You had to trust that the driver had us well in hand & was completely at ease in his task. He was never worried or anxious & we had to leave the driving to him. Inevitably, we'd end up in some beautiful town; always safe & sound, and better for having made the journey.

As many of you may know, I have recently left my job at the church, after being employed for 3 years (not to mention the 2 prior years volunteering). It was a job that I loved more than any other I've ever had. But recent changes have forced me to resign. It's a step of faith. It's knowing myself well enough & trusting God enough to know that this new position offered is not going to work for me. It's knowing that God has plans for me that I cannot see at the moment. It's a blind corner. It's traveling down a dirt road, going 60 miles an hour, danger on both sides & not knowing what's ahead. Is it scary? Yeah, sure, sometimes.... But its also exciting & exhilarating at the same time. To put yourself completely in His hands (like the driver of our bus), and know that He has a purpose & plan for my life. That His Word is truth (Jeremiah 29:11), and I can just leave the driving to Him.

In case you haven't seen the kids in a while...

2007-04-11T11:42:00.000-05:00

Here's Sam (holding my 4 month old niece Sophia - 1st cousins!)

Alex & Sam on campus where Alex will be heading this summer. He's going to be attending Palm Beach Atlantic University in West Palm Beach, FL (not too shabby!). Completing his physical education degree.

Alex & buddy Kyle on campus....looks like college in the jungle!!

Sam & Norm....aren't they sweet??

Me & Sam with baby Sophia.

These are the gifts God has given me. And there are many more...

A Day at the Beach...

2007-04-11T08:41:00.000-05:00

For me, there is something so freeing about being at the beach. More specifically, the ocean. Whenever I've been on vacation or on a missions trip and find myself standing at the ocean's edge, I inevitably have this overwhelming feeling of coming home. Its a strange sensation, since I was born, raised and have spent my entire life in New York State. Why then, does this place where earth meets water beckon me? Why does it bring me such great peace as I stand with my toes in the water, eyes closed, sea air filling my senses? I believe it's the realization that there is so much in life bigger than I and I receive a fresh perspective on what I perceive to be the "big" things going on in my life. When I fully grasp the idea that God Himself created this vast ocean, all that lives in it and every grain of sand, I stand in reverent awe. This place is holy ground. Think about the fact that the ocean stretches on for miles and miles, and yet only is allowed to come so far onto land. That is the hand of our mighty Lord. He reminds me here that while my problems may seem large & overwhelming, He also has me well in hand. There is nothing too big or too small for Him to handle. As I sit at my computer in Amherst, NY, where the temperature hovers around the 40 degree mark, my body longs to be at the beach, breathing in the salt air, feeling the warm sun on my skin. He lovingly brings my memories back to that place, reminds me that He is with me wherever I am, and that despite my circumstances, every day can be a "day at the beach".