God's Doesn't Need Us, He Chooses Us.

I had the extraordinary experience/privilege of working with children in Sierra Leone, Africa, this past spring.   Traveling with some of the most amazing people I could have ever dreamt of.  Hard working, fun, dedicated, lovers of God.  All called or sent to do His work in a much forgotten place.  A place of beautiful people, all just trying to survive this life, care for their families, make a difference.  Just like us.  I know that we often question God and wonder why things are the way they are.  It's hard not to when you see some of the deplorable living conditions of these sweet faces.   We KNOW God can do all things, we KNOW He is a God of love & mercy.  Then why?  Why do they have so little?  Why do their babies die from malaria or water-born illnesses?   We KNOW that with flick of His finger, He CAN heal, bring clean water, eradicate disease.  If He is the God who created all the universe, this doesn't seem like a large task.  Then I wonder, why does He need me to go to this remote place?  Why were any of us there?  Truth is, He doesn't NEED me.  That is when I remember that He is a God of relationship, as was evidenced by Jesus' time on this earth.  Jesus could have floated on a cloud & healed the lepers, but He chose to walk among them, touch them.  He could have lazed under a shady tree & healed the sick, the blind, the barren, raised the dead, without breaking a sweat.  But He lived among them, loved them, became their friend.   I begin to see that He loves through our human touch.  He loves through our relationships with others.  He loves through our caring, our selflessness, our willingness to love those that others may have forgotten.  Just like Jesus.   Let's be honest, God doesn't NEED us to bring them clean water, but He chose His people to go love....His people.  God doesn't need ME to show love to these sweet children, but He chose me to go anyway.  How incredibly humbling.  These families....moms, dads, kids, grandmothers, grandfathers, have all been cared for by the ministry of Let Them LOL.  They are getting clean water, children are going to school, receiving meals, getting medical attention, being taught farming so they can self-sustain.  God didn't NEED LOL to do this.  He could have done it all Himself.  But, how much sweeter to connect His children in the U.S. to His children in Sierra Leone?  Bringing people together because there is a need.  Teaching us to love & to be loved.  Believe me, I left that place feeling like I received way more than I gave.  People often say, "well, if God is so great, why is there still poverty, heartbreak, disease, etc?  Can't He end all that?  Does He hear our cries?"  I think the answer is, absolutely.  And when disaster hits & you see people rush in to help, that's how He is choosing to answer those needs.  When a team of people travel from Buffalo, NY (& Nashville, TN!) to Sierra Leone, Africa, to drill wells & build schools, hug & laugh with children, encourage parents, that's how He's choosing to answer.  When people in my new home town are living in poverty, hungry & can't afford school supplies for their children, our local church sets up a Mobile Food Pantry to supply shopping carts full of food & backpacks full of supplies for their children & 100 volunteers show up in 100 degree heat to serve 150 local families.  That's how He's choosing to answer.   I'm sure He could miraculously heal, and I believe He does, but how beautiful to have groups of strangers donate to Go-Fund Me accounts to help raise money for families with sick loved ones; to see God work through the hands of talented, compassionate medical teams; to have those same strangers praying & sending words of encouragement to help lift up families during crisis.  That's how they feel not only His provision, but His love.  He uses each one of us to fulfill His purpose.  He's a God of relationship, what a beautiful sight it must be to our Heavenly Father to see his children care for one another.   And in God's beautiful economy, somehow, when we give to others, care for others, put others' needs above your own, that is when He takes care for us.  We are also reminded that when we care for His children, we are caring for Him, "Truly, I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." (Matthew 25:40).  He desires a relationship with each one of us as well.   God certainly doesn't NEED ME to do anything to care for His children, but I am SO grateful that He asks me to anyway.  And He's asking you too. We just need to be willing to say "yes".

His Abundance...My Cup Runneth Over!

As I sat & read over my last post, which admittedly was written far too long ago, I hear my own words of anticipation of what the year ahead would bring. It has been an amazing year & I am quick to praise & thank God for every bit of it!

We did indeed find a new home, well to be truthful, GOD found us a new home! It most assuredly fell into our laps & is perfect. We have used every inch of it over the last few months celebrating family events, welcoming friends & family & taking stock of just how awesome our God truly is. Norm & have to pinch ourselves when we see what He has provided to us! I uttered these words to Norm as summer was winding down that this truly has been the best summer I have had in more years than I can count. To have a place that is our own, to be able to welcome all those we love into it, to have a place of privacy & peace of mind is such a beautiful gift. Words cannot express our gratitude!


This year brought my son Alex's engagement to his beautiful girlfriend Jen! Hence, one of the family events we were privileged to celebrate in our new home. We could not be happier for them! They are a sweet, loving & fun couple & I pray that God would bless them both as they clasp hands & head down this road together. I pray that they always remember that they have so many people who love them & that no matter what life brings, they are not along this journey alone.

My daughter has just entered her senior year of college. That completely blows my mind! Alex turned 24 this week & Sam will be 21 the next. How is this possible? As I said in my last post, life marches on! We are so excited for Sam as she makes plans for what's next, but are grateful that she views this year as something special, something she doesn't want to just "get through". She is embracing this time in her life & is looking with anticipation & a certain amount of anxiety at what comes next. She has many ideas about what she'd like to "do with her life" & I pray she explores them all. I also pray that she would lean on God & HIS direction for her life. We make our plans, but He directs our paths! She is smart, beautiful & I have no doubt that she can accomplish anything she sets her mind to & truly wants. I am pulling for you sweet girl!

This year I lost a dear friend to cancer. She fought a good fight & lived 2 courageous years with the disease. I am grateful for the time we had together, having been reunited about a year and a half ago. Val was sweet, funny, stylish, loving mother, wife & friend. She was my childhood friend & I will miss her terribly. I am grateful for the hope of the life after this where we will once again share hugs, laughter & tears of joy together! Until that day, I pray for God's comfort & healing on her beautiful family.

I realize that I may be sounding like a broken record, but despite some of the tough stuff this year, we are eternally grateful to our heavenly Father for lavishing such blessings on us. For those of our friends & family who are struggling right now, we offer our support, prayer & love. Please know that He promises to "never leave you nor forsake you"...and neither will we.

We are grateful for our beautiful family, for the love we share, the health in our bodies, the life we are blessed with. We are grateful for our jobs which allow us to continue to move past the struggles of our past & move forward to more promising times. We are grateful for the friends God has seen fit to bring into our lives, those who love us (no matter what) & who continue to pray for us. We promise to do likewise.

But above it all, we are grateful for the love of our Father - our provider, our strength, our courage, our future. All we have is His & we hold onto it all loosely, knowing that we need to be generous with what has been given. We are ultimately & supremely grateful that Heaven is our home & that when we pass through this moment in time, we will spend all of eternity in the presence of our King. And for as much as we love our new home...it pales in comparison to the HOME He is preparing for us!

Life Marches On...

January, 2011. Hard to believe. Also hard to believe I haven't sat & put thoughts down here since May! A new year. Once again. What will we make of it? What lies ahead? What changes do we want to make? What changes will be made for us?

These types of questions always plague me as a new year rolls around. I'm sure I'm not alone. I'm not necessarily talking about "resolutions", although those are pretty popular this time of year. All you need do is walk into your local gym to see that's true. I'm talking about anticipation. Some will be good. Some, possibly, not so good. We can make choices for our lives, but how much is not really in our control? It's a time to take stock, to reassess, to evaluate. A time to make decisions about our future. Or at least the next few months. Norm & I have been looking for a house. We're really excited about this & have approached it with a sense of adventure. But as the months have rolled by with no luck in finding the "right place", our excitement is slowly being replaced with discouragement. We made a decision about our future, but circumstances have not complied! And that...is....life. Don't get me wrong, we're not hanging our heads, by no means. We are pushing forward, making our plans. But I have to wonder how much of it is really in our hands? We like to think we can plan our future, decide where we'll live, work, how many kids we'll have, etc. But how much is really in our control?

Our kids were home for the holidays & it was a wonderful time! So fabulous to have us all under the same roof for a time again! We had family in town & got closer to extended family as my son's girlfriend & family spent time with us as well. It was impossible to imagine a time like this when they were children. In that time, its hard to fathom things like children living away from you, moving to different parts of the country, going to college, graduating from college, having girlfriends/boyfriends who are potential spouses! No matter what stage of life we find ourselves in, its hard to not feel like "it will always be this way". Reality is, life marches on. It grows, it changes, it adds & detracts from our circle. It brings joy, it brings pain. It brings successes, it brings failures. It brings gain, it brings loss. Who can really know what is around the corner?

It's in understanding that, that I must come to faith. I must wholeheartedly believe that the God of this universe, my Abba Father, has my life in His hands. No matter what life brings, no matter where I find myself, I am His. He gives me all I need to live this life. He provides my intellect, my strength, my ability to work, to find joy. If I'm smart, I'll remember to also ask Him for wisdom in order to handle the things that life brings my way. Most importantly though, He gives me love. Because He IS love and I am HIS, I therefore have His love in me. He gives me the ability to love all those around me. Because He first loved me. (1 John 4:19) It's truly believing that He loves me & walks with me at all times, during the good, the bad & the ugly, that my faith allows me to move forward each & every day.

And let us not forget to celebrate this life that we have been given! It is a gift! It will be short, so enjoy the moments, put pettiness aside, don't waste time. Laugh often, love always. Because life marches on...

There's No Place Like Home...

What is this urge we parents/women have to make all around us comfortable? I can look back at countless times in my life where making a "home" cozy & welcoming was my #1 priority. Norm & I have moved 7 times (yikes!) since we're married & worked hard on each every one of them to make them feel like home. No matter the size of the space, we had that need/urge to make it inviting, welcoming...home. The most vivid memory of creating coziness, of course, happened while preparing for the birth of my 2 children. Little creatures that knew nothing of this world or their surroundings, we were convinced needed a lovely & safe space of their own. I can remember being 6-7 months pregnant with my first and painting & papering the nursery. Back then we didn't realize that painting was a big "no-no" for a pregnant mom! Nonetheless, we brought that little bundle of joy into its carefully prepared nest, and all was right with the world! With my second, it was exactly the same. Living in a different home, we worked diligently on preparing a safe, cozy & quiet place for her to exist. I'm sure she would not have been upset by walls whose colors weren't "baby appropriate" or if she had to use a comforter set that belonged to her older brother. But as her dutiful & loving parents, we worked at creating what we deemed to be just the right space for her.

And on & on it goes.... Even now, as my children, both of whom go to school away from home, made plans to come home for the summer, we got to work preparing places of comfort & privacy for them. Since they're young adults used to living away from mom & dad, we wanted to be sure to give them each a space to unwind after work, or just settle in for a long phone conversation uninterrupted by the rest of the family. We love our children & are blessed beyond measure to have them both here for 2 whole precious months! We cleaned, reorganized, built closet shelving, new bedding, etc. all in anticipation of their arrival. After all, they are my children & I want to be able to give them the best I can offer. I want them to feel "at home", welcome.

I heard an amazing sermon this weekend about eternity. The gist of it was the idea of "coming home". It was expressed like this, "life here on earth is like living in a hotel, eternity is being home". It really struck me. The point was, the hotel offered shelter, comfort, food, etc. Why, then does it not feel like home? That longing that is inside all of us for home, is described as not just a destination, but a desire to be where we belong. In our small way, we prepared for the homecoming of our children. Would God do anything less? I can only imagine the homecoming that awaits us with Christ. I envision our Heavenly Father waiting with open arms to welcome us, just as I do each time my son's plane lands or I pull up in front of my daughter's dorm. What's so amazing is that it is me who is eager with anticipation! We think of eternity with our Lord & with each other, but do we actually consider that He is eagerly awaiting our arrival? That he is excited to see us, to put His arms around us, show us the lovely place that has been prepared for us? Its hard to imagine the God of the Universe being that intimate with each of us, but that is His desire.

My time with my children will be wonderful this summer, but I already know it will go way too fast. Someday, we won't have to say good-bye to each other. Someday we will be home. For all eternity. And in the immortal words of the ever-wise Dorothy, "there's no place like home".

Haves or Have Nots??

There are times in my life when I'm not sure which of these I am. Once upon a time, Norm & I worked, saved & purchased the beautiful house in the suburbs, complete with in-ground pool & fireplace, essentially equating to the "American Dream". I guess at that point we would be viewed as the "haves". Through a series of work changes & job losses...all that is gone. We moved from the 4 bedroom house to the 3 bedroom apartment & then the next 3 bedroom apartment. I guess at this point we would be considered the "have nots".

Funny thing about "having" & "not having"....its all a matter of perspective. I heard a minister preach an amazing message once & it really has stuck with me. He said that only 8% of the world's population owns a car (we have 2). He said that about a billion people do not have access to clean water & about 800 million people won't eat today. Every day I can turn on a faucet & effortlessly fill a glass, a teapot, wash a dish or bathe. I have never gone a day without a meal, unless I had decided to do so. He said that roughly a billion people live on less than $1 a day and that experts say it would take roughly $20 billion to provide water, food & healthcare to the entire world - about what the US spends in one year on ice cream. These are staggering statistics! Compared to the world around me, I don't have much. There is a great concentration of "wealth" in the area I live in. But "the world around me" is NOT the world. He said that we run into danger when we perceive "our world" to be "the world". We as Americans can easily fall into the trap of needing bigger, better, more. We are constantly bombarded with messages that teach us that this is what we need, that this will make us happy, that this will give us a "life".

Everything I have is a gift from God. Even the ability to work, to be healthy & strong enough to earn the money to provide for our family. No matter if I'm living in the big 4 bedroom house or the small 3 bedroom apartment, I am warm, I am safe, I am fed. Sadly, how many people in the world can say that?

Jesus teaches us in 1 Timothy 6:17-18 - "Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds and to be generous and willing to share." I don't think God has a problem with our "having", I think the problem lies in our willingness to share what we have with the those in need. It's understanding that the gifts that He's seen fit to give us, are not just for our enjoyment. And its not just about money, its about giving of ourselves, giving of our time & our energy. Its learning to put others first, it requires sacrifice. Its true generosity. Not always an easy task, I know. The minister described this as having "life that is truly a life".

I see it as being content too. We are taught in Phil. 4:12 - "I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Its funny again that word "perspective". Compared to the life I had, I am living in want. But compared to 92% of the world's population...I am rich. I can honestly say that losing our house was a difficult time in our lives. Amazingly, I can remember being at total peace when it became time to move on. God had provided a lovely, safe place for our family to live. We may not always have everything we want, but He always makes sure we have what we need. The fact that God has taken care of every need we have had since then is an awesome testimony to how He loves & cares for His children. He only asks that we then turn & do the same.

Our church has been raising money for Sierra Leone, one of the poorest countries in the world. We have been working at digging wells, providing sanitation systems, farming, providing medical care, schools, churches, etc. They are doing a benefit concert on March 12th at the church & all the proceeds are going to help the people of Sierra Leone. It doesn't get easier than that! We enjoy a great concert & the people of Sierra Leone get fresh water. You can go to http://www.thechapel.com/ to find out more. Also check out http://www.ltlol.com/ - another amazing ministry started by one of the youth worship leaders in the church that has some pretty creative ideas on how to raise money for clean drinking water for Sierra Leone.

And we don't have to cross an ocean, continent or country to find those in need. God has placed each one of us right where He wants us. Our city is in need, our neighbors are in need. Take a look around....we can all do something because He provides everything. That's a life worth living...

Oh Christmas Tree....and Gratitude

It's amazing to me that I haven't taken "key in hand" to update this blog in over a year! Guess its been a heck of a year... During that time, I went from losing my dream job of working with youth/college students, to a series of part time jobs - including house cleaning & home organization projects. After that, I took the wrong job for the right reason, working in a law firm that paid well, had great benefits & was something my family needed at the time since my husband was unemployed. While I loved the people that I worked with, I honestly don't think there was one day that I actually enjoyed being there. I'm sure in today's economy, many people are working jobs they need over jobs they love. In other words, you do what you have to do for your family. I remember praying every day on my way to work that God would allow me to do my job with excellence, with a spirit of joy & with a grateful heart. I also prayed that He would show me His ultimate purpose for placing me in a place where I not only did not enjoy the job I did, but was opposed to the very core of the law they practiced. Not a great motivator to get out of bed each morning. I would pray that God would let me know when it was time to move on & that He would provide what would come next. And after a year of loving on the people I worked with & doing my very best to be a blessing in a tough place, He brought along another wonderful & unexpected opportunity.

That was 6 months ago. I have been happily working for friends of mine & I still pray every day on my way to work. Only now not to get me through the day, but to continue to be a blessing to those I work for & do my job with excellence. I pray that each day I accomplish this. That would be a successful job in my estimation!

One of the most beautiful things about this new job is the amazing people I work for. They are kind, hard working, fun to be around, men of integrity & treat me very well. They understand that no matter how dedicated I am to my job, my first priority will always be my family. Being good Christian men, they get this. I was allowed much flexibility in my work schedule in order to spend time with my son & daughter while they were home for Christmas. We packed alot into a short time & I'm so grateful to God that I was afforded the time to do it. And they didn't release me to my family grudgingly, making me feel guilt-ridden. They lavished the spirit of Christmas on me AND my family, and graciously encouraged us to go spend time together. I am grateful or these men that God has seen fit to place me with. I am grateful to God.

Up top is a dorky photo of me & my family as we hunted for the perfect Christmas tree. Yeah, we know we're dorky... But oh so much fun to be together! The other picture is of my son & his girlfriend Jen, another gift God has brought into our family & we love her. I am grateful to God for my family. I am grateful to God. All in all, I faced my Christmas this year with a spirit of anticipation, of joy, of peace.

I pray yours was the same... <3

Merry Christmas (slightly late) & may God richly bless your 2010!!!

God's Early Christmas Gifts...

Who would have thought that a snow storm would turn out to be one of the best gifts I've been given in a long time??!! Last night, under clear skies, my son flew in from Southern Florida. Yeah, it was cold, but he arrived safely, on time & with no weather issues. Today...a different story. So, gratefulness #1, "thank you Lord for bringing my son home before the storm." (These are just some pictures from around Buffalo, found on the wgrz.com website.)

We had planned on picking Sam up from school today (snow day) after I got out of work. But because the snow was coming down fast & furious, Norm & Alex decided to get an early start and so they set out around 10:00 am. They made it there & back in about 4 hours. Gratefulness #2, "thank you Lord for their safe travel through a snow storm and for bringing them home to me safe & sound".

But the best part, well maybe not the BEST part because NOTHING is better than having both my kids home, is that my office actually closed at 12:30 because of the storm! That NEVER happens, apparently! I was so sad that I couldn't join Norm & Alex picking up Sam because I had to work. Then, they let us out early, I bummed a ride off a friend, got home before the family, cooked a pot of nice hot soup & waited for their arrival. So, gratefulness #3, "thank you Lord for letting me be a part of the homecoming and for doing the thing I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE MOST....be Mom."














Hahaha...only in Buffalo!!

"Thank you Lord for my early Christmas gifts...." And as if all this isn't enough, the ultimate gift was His Son being born, so that I could have a life with Him. It simply does not get better than all that. When people say "God is Good", it doesn't even come close to how amazing & awe inspiring He is, and for the way He loves & cares for us. Thank you Lord...I love you!

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL......may you feel His blessings as I do today.

Cell Phone CPR...or is it R&R?

So, about 2 weeks ago I had a pretty bad cold so I decided a nice, hot, relaxing bath was definitely in order. Why oh why do I incorporate texting on my cell phone to relaxing in a tub, I have no idea! But as the cell phone addict that I may have become, this was my situation. And as careful as I thought I was being, yes you guessed it, I dropped it in the tub. That brief "oh no!", followed by plop. And all I could see were dollar signs as I imagined what this was going to cost me. Not to mention being completely cut off from the world!! Oh the horror!

Then I remembered a friend of mine once telling me that all you have to do when you get your cell phone wet is to put it in some dry rice. The idea being that the rice would absorb the moisture sinking deep into the crevices of the phone. I decided that it was worth a shot, what did I have to lose at this point, except a bag of rice?? Sam reminded me to take the battery out too. So, there it laid, dismantled & buried in a Ziploc bag of rice overnight. When I eagerly opened it the next morning, it actually worked! I couldn't believe it! The night before all it did was sputter & die out! To my dismay, however, within a few minutes, it died again. The rice didn't work. Bummer.

Then I got the scam artist at the Sprint store tap dancing all over me about limited coverage, renewing plans, upgrading phones, rebates that I've accumulated since the 5th grade...everything to aggravate me & make me walk out in disgust....my dead cell phone laying limply in my pocket. Norm was then going to buy me a used phone off of Craig's list and round & round we went. For 4 days we discussed the best option. It occurred to me that what if they can't even get my phone numbers out of the phone??!! The horror!!! I can't even IMAGINE having to attempt retrieving all those numbers! (I don't have that many actually, but fear over dramatizes everything!) As I went to see if my phone would even turn on long enough to pull out my oh-so important numbers, I realized that my phone was actually working! It really was working!! And its worked ever since!! Crazy, isn't it???

Moral of the story....sometimes we just need a cozy place to sleep for the night & a few days off. Then we'll be as good as new!!

Try it for yourself sometime..... :)

Catching Up...

Wow!! It really has been a LONG time since I've taken time to update. Not sure anyone is bothered by that...but I know I am! So, if even just for my own inner peace, and hopefully somebody's amusement, I want to catch up with what life has brought our way since August....


Sam left for State University of New York at Fredonia...she loves it! Here she is with her roommate Jasmine from Brooklyn! Thank you Lord...they get along great...






Said good-bye to my best friend....









Visited my brother & his family in Michigan...here with my nephew at University of Michigan football game...








Me & my niece Jesse at the U of M game!! It was COOOLLLDDD!!







Took a road trip in the Jeep from Buffalo to West Palm Beach...yeah, ran into a snow storm in Pittsburgh....







Took the Jeep down...and gave it Alex. Yeah, he needed a car & we just couldn't resist helping him out! Love that kid...







Me and my boy....











Celebrated my niece Sophia's 2nd birthday.....








Spent time with friends....








and even more friends...









And Cammy kept us entertained....










We even celebrated an engagement...








And Norm got his first pair of glasses!









This doesn't even include the 2 new jobs that Norm & I have, Thanksgiving and getting ready for Christmas!! No wonder I haven't added a word here since August!

Life is full...and I wouldn't have it any other way!

Life in Stages...

As many of you know, we're getting ready to take our daughter to college in less than a week. Its kinda a funny expression, because I don't know how "ready" any of us really are. We've done the grad party, the college orientation, the dorm room shopping...we're as ready as we'll ever be, I guess. I'm sure to many the use of the word "we" is quite funny, since she's the one going & I'm essentially going to stay behind trying to figure out how to carry on life in a whole new way. Its funny when you're raising your family, you know the idea of your kids going away to college is "out there", but then it comes upon you sometimes like a freight train. Its not that we haven't talked about it, prayed about , prepared for it, celebrated it. Its just that now its actually here. And it changes everything. No more long conversations late at night hanging in my room, cuz she just needs to vent. No more leaving her a cup of hot tea early in the morning as she gets ready for school. No more juggling cars. No more planning meals for a family. Its just me & Norm. Strange thought. I'm a mother at heart & I think its the job I've always done best. So am I just getting laid off here? I don't think so. I think the job description has just changed. And yes, we're moving headlong into the next stage of life. If you see me, please don't call me an "empy nester", cuz we've heard it like 1,000 times now and it kinda hurts, to be honest.

As with all things in life, we trust God with what's next. Again, I find myself in a place where I can't really peer around the corner to see what He has in store. But I am confident that He loves me, loves my family & knows my heart....better than anyone. He knows how much I love my children, love being a mom. I doubt that is going to end any time before I draw my last breath. But they will need me in a whole new way, I'm sure. I can't fully anticipate what that way is just yet, but I'm excited about the idea of a more mature relationship with adult children. That is something we've been building for years now.

No matter how hard it is, I'm so very proud of my children. Proud to know that they are confident enough in who they are to go out & try this next stage of their life on their own. Proud that they know they will always have the security of parents who love & care for them no matter what their address is. Proud that they ultimately belong to a Heavenly Father who will be with them...even when I can't be. All of it...each stage of this life is a precious gift. Whether they are newborns who need you for their very existence, or they are young children who need you to nurture & teach them. Or they are young adults, feeling their way in the world, needing to know that there is a safety net for them in the form of loving, caring parents.

So, one week. That's all that is left for having children officially living under my roof. Please pray for this stage of life for us. I have already experienced the pain that comes with it. I've also experienced the joy. But I still have to walk away...at some point...one last hug...then walk away. From my best friend, my daughter. That will be the toughest stage yet.

What's next?? God only knows. But I'm sure glad He does.

"9 to 5 & Rush Hour Traffic"

Okay, I finally did it. I bit the bullet, joined the work force full time. Yes I am officially a "9 to 5-ver - rush hour traffic driving - rat race participator"! I'd love to tell you that I have this wonderfully fulfilling job that makes me feel all warm & fuzzy & full of purpose. Well...that's not exactly right. What I do have is stability. And in my life in recent months, this is not such a bad thing. I have a steady paycheck, with good pay, health benefits, paid time off. And to be perfectly honest, I only have to deal with traffic for about 2 miles, because that's how close the office is to home. Not a bad deal. All I have to do in return is chain myself to my desk from 8:30 to 4:30 (okay, its not actually "9 to 5", but it just sounds better), and work, work, work! I've notice that the people around me don't do a lot of socializing. I guess that's good for productivity. But it certainly makes me miss some of prior jobs where socializing was not frivolous...its how we did our jobs! Oh well...no use crying over spilt milk...or tiny cubicles.

For those of you who don't know, I have taken a job once again in a law firm. I actually went to school for this way back "in the day". I had worked in various firms in Syracuse & Buffalo when I was first married & part time for many years after kids came along. Its perfect for someone who's organized & detail oriented. Yeah that's me. But I'm also a people person, which really helped me in my prior jobs. Not so much this one. But, hey, you never know. I work with alot of young people (so what else is new?) and I'm hoping that God will use me in some way besides just collecting a paycheck. Like I know He knows we need the money. And He knows we need the health insurance. But I also know that He wastes nothing. I also know that while He will bless me with a job to secure my family, He always has plans that are greater. I pray that I will bring Him glory through all I do and that even in a place where hundreds (yes hundreds) of people sit working behind office doors or sequestered in cubicles, I can help bring some light.

After only a week's time, I'm starting to get the hang of my new position. Its fairly intense, let me tell you. But I can handle it. Its a fairly intense place. All the more need for Christ. While I won't be walking around preaching or reading my bible to people, I know that His love can shine through me...no matter where He places me. And yeah, those Lego people are pretty accurate...

I would so covet your prayers as I begin this endeavor. Its hard work, and hard to be away from my daughter every day, all day, right before she leaves for school. It was a tough choice to make. And while I have always worked in some capacity, I've tried really hard to keep my children as a priority, right into their teen years. But right now, my family needs my help financially more than anything else. And we'll just see what the law firm really needs from me. God only knows....

Crazy June!! Wouldn't trade a moment...

I haven't posted in so long because basically the sheer volume of activity in my life recently simply hasn't allowed it! We knew the events of June 2008 were going to take over our lives for months now. It didn't fail to deliver. We started with my nephew's graduation party in Michigan, that was such a blast & so fun to bless on this amazing young man. Someday maybe I'll post just about him, he's pretty special.

Two weeks later we had my daughter's graduation party here at the house. With there still being no job (or a solid one at least) in sight for Norm, we did all we could to make it as simple as possible and yet bless on our girl. And thank You Lord for such wonderful friends who gave us help. We wanted to make the day special & love on my daughter, celebrating her great accomplishments not just over these last 4 years, but 12 to be sure. She is amazing & smart & headed off to college in 1 1/2 months (that will be yet another blog!). So, we celebrated her in style, simple yet oh so much fun!




The very next day, we gathered again to celebrate my parents 50th wedding anniversary. This was so much fun, with family in from all over the country to pay tribute to this amazing couple. (If you're a Facebook participator, there are many pics of all these events there should you care to take a peek!).











Last week was prom and then 2 days later we lined ourselves in front of Williamsville South High School & watched our little girl/young woman walk across the steps & receive her diploma. It's an event that will forever be etched in my memory, much like her first day of kindergarten. It has been an extreme privilege & joy raising this amazing young woman. To be present at this precipice in her life was something I will carry with me always. She views the road ahead with such anticipation & excitement that it truly is hard to think of my own inner turmoil of letting her go. She is ready for this next stage of life, ready to meet the challenges head, ready to discover who she really is & what she's made of. Likely qualities I've seen in her all along.



Every element of this entry could be its own blog, and maybe when the weather once again turns cold & she is off living in a crowded dorm room, I will take the time to reflect & share what these events have really meant to me, to us....but for now....I will enjoy the time I have with her at home. I love you Sam....





I am also going to enjoy spending these next few days with my "boy" as we are preparing to say good-bye, again, to him as he heads back to Florida on Wed. morning. He has been home with us for 1 1/2 months now and I have loved every minute of it. Knowing that the goal is to raise our children into adults who can care for themselves and succeed in the world without us, means we have to let go & let them live their own lives. Its hard, yet rewarding to know that while this is his home...that is where is life is. I love you Alex....

Being "mom" to these two amazing young adults has been the best job I could ever have. Its also been the hardest thing I've ever had the privilege to do. Thank you Lord for bringing them into my life & entrusting me with them. The future belongs to them...they belong to You.

A Call for Simpler Times? Perhaps...

I know our gas prices aren't quite this high....yet....but you know its just a matter of time. The day before I left for Florida, which was May 12th, I took a picture with my phone at the pump at my corner. The gas was $3.89. I thought how insane! It can't possibly get higher than this! But as you are all painfully aware, we have far surpassed this meager cost & have soared right over the $4 mark. And don't even get me started on what I pay for groceries! I don't buy red meat, don't buy organic (despite what the experts suggest), buy a lot of generic products, and still manage to spend a small fortune every week. Besides our basic bills, this is where we are spending all our money (what little we have). At the pump...at the grocery store. Things like restaurants & movies are rare treats these days. And forget about even setting foot in a mall!

In talking to my mom about this, she wondered about the possibility that we may be headed back to World War II living. She was a little girl at the time, but remembers the scrimping & saving quite well. Probably what has made her the frugal wife & mother she grew into. She remembers saving tin foil because you could get pennies for metal. This past week, my husband recycled some metal in a yard in order to get a few bucks for it. Mom remembers living in one large house with 2 of her aunts, cousins & her grandparents living in a smaller house out back (what today people would call "in-law quarters"). They shared one bathroom, one kitchen, one radio. She remembers that they only took a bath twice a week in order to conserve water. But growing up in the depression era required such sacrifices. And I'm sure they thought they lived pretty well compared to others.

As time goes on and gas prices continue to climb, food prices become unreal and basic living expenses become harder & harder to maintain, might we too begin to adopt some of their frugality's? I even began to think that maybe my mom & her mom before her had it right. Maybe for all our advances, we've turned our simple world into something that has become harder & harder to attain or maintain. Like maybe it would be nice to live all together with your extended family. Think about sharing expenses with others. Think about taking turns making meals & sharing them with your family at the end of the day. Think about not having to worry about day care because there's always an aunt or grandma in the house. The younger men go to work, the older men take care of the yard & maintenance of the home. You'd always have babysitters, people to help with housework, maybe even share cars.

Hard to imagine, isn't it?? In a culture where we all have our own cars, a TV in every room, every child with their own bedroom & multiple bathrooms. Many of us don't even live in the same state, let alone the same neighborhood as our families. Haven't we lost something? Have we created a detached feeling at times. Maybe all these crazy cost increases are going to force us back to simpler things, simpler times. Maybe we'll all have to start depending on each other more, maybe we'll begin to help take care of those in our families...the young, the old & everyone in between. Its a great theory...something kind of cool to dream about. Hard to imagine though having to give up our independence, our privacy. (I am realistic enough to see ALL the shortcomings of this thinking...the things you're thinking right now!) But, oh what might we gain? What might our children gain by growing up surrounded by all the generations of their families? The values & wisdom shared of a generation past.

Being faced with the possibility of moving away in order to find decent jobs, makes me lament such an ideal. Its weighing out the necessity of providing for your family & a more secure future vs. the relationships & life you've built here. Not an easy decision to be sure, and I'm certainly not sure it will ever be a circumstance realized...time will tell. I'll keep you posted.

It Certainly is Golden....

This beautiful couple is my Mom & Dad...seen here at a luncheon given by the Cheektowaga Senior Center in celebration of all the couples in the town celebrating their 50th wedding anniversaries. At this particular luncheon, there were 34 couples all gathered with family & friends to celebrate this milestone in their lives. That's quite amazing, don't you think? Especially in this day & age, and culture, where statistically every 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce. How awesome it was to be a part of this event celebrating Harry & Dottie Smith's 50 years together...known to me simply as Mom & Dad.

Take a look at them on day one....(gorgeous aren't they??!!)

So, 50 years, 4 children and 6 grandchildren later, we will gather family & friends for a private celebration of their golden event. This is my tribute to them. Their love, their life.

I love you Mom & Dad!!

Congratulations....you are a true inspiration.

Cars...Love to Hate Em...

This is not Alex's car. But I'm pretty sure its the twin sister... I just wonder if the owner of this particular car has had as much fun with their car as we have had with his?? Hmmm....I doubt it. Allow me to elaborate....

As most of you know, I flew down to West Palm Beach, FL, in order to spend a few days with my son & then jump into his "new" 1996 Volvo & drive the 1,500 miles back home to Buffalo. What is the saying about the best laid plans...??? One night after a late night hockey game, we come out of the rink & the new/old car won't start. Thank God we bought the oh so smart (if not fun) gift of AAA for him when he bought it. So, left standing in a parking lot at 12:30 in the morning, we watched it get towed away. The greatest thing was just prior to its ultimate removal, macho hockey players now turned Budweiser drinkers, all stood around grunting & speculating as to what might be the problem. Even with their apparent lack of expertise, they managed to accurately make the diagnosis...fuel pump. Twenty-four hours & $620 later (they did a few other repairs as well...hey, as long as we were at it!), the car now runs great! Yippee!! Our question now, is it do we trust it to make the trip all the way up the east coast? We've opted for no.

After much discussion between Alex & I, not to mention conference calls with Norm back home, coupled with escalating gasoline prices and the fear of breaking down in Backwoods, Georgia, we are now flying home courtesy of Jet Blue. This decision, albeit something that we are all at peace with now, leaves my son home in Buffalo for a month & a half without a car. Four drivers, two cars...should make for an interesting summer.

I HATE CARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The cost of repairs & final registrations for Alex's new/old car has completely tapped him out, and has taken a pretty big chunk of mom's money as well. Dad...he took care of the plane tickets. I HATE CARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I'm staying a few extra days...in a house with 6 college guys...I'm sure they're thrilled. The upside...I'm staying a few extra days in 85 degree, beautiful sunshine with an ocean about 5 minutes away. Not a bad place to sit & lick your wounds. Of course, its Burger King or PB&J's for us for the next few days...but hey...we've got an ocean.

I HATE CARS!!!!!!!!!!! But did I mention the ocean??? See ya'll when we land.

Courage...

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.

Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God

will be with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9)

I can imagine that Joshua & the Israelites were feeling all of those things that God commanded against. They had just lost Moses and knew that they would now have to cross into the Promised Land without him. Moses was their leader and now he was gone & they had to figure out how to carry on without him. Sure, they had Joshua, but wasn't he like the #2 guy?? Could they trust him?? And what exactly would they find in this Promised Land? Would it fulfill all the hopes & dreams they had been holding out for in their many years of waiting? I'm sure they felt terrified, discouraged and anything but strong.

I was reminded of this scripture this past week while attending a church service at Christ Crusaders church on the East Side of Buffalo. You know those moments when the person preaching points out something from God's Word, usually something you've heard maybe 1,000 times, but all of the sudden, WHAM! It speaks to you... Its interesting to me that in this particular piece of scripture, God actually commands them to be strong & courageous. That's how well He knows His people. That's how in tune He is with their emotions, thoughts & hearts. As their Father, He knew that what lie ahead was going to be amazing, but they could not be afraid to take the steps forward necessary to grab hold of it. In essence, they had to trust God. So, He commands them to be STRONG and COURAGEOUS and to not be TERRIFIED or DISCOURAGED. To be perfectly honest, those last two words describe me more these days than the prior two. And that really makes me angry with myself! I want to be strong & I most definitely want to be courageous. In the face of where we still are in the financial world, things are looking grim. But like the Israelites before they crossed the Jordan, I have no idea what's lying ahead. I only know to hold fast to God's promises.

What we also see is that God makes the promise that HE would be with them wherever they would go. That alone gives me strength, and in that small bit of God's Words, I do find courage. Its a scripture that I have come back to over the last few days over & over again. I'm sure that's no accident. Sitting in the pew of Christ Crusaders Church, God allowed those words, His Words, to sink into my heart & mind. That was no accident. He knew that this week would be hard. He knew that I would be terrified of what lies ahead. He knew that that overwhelming feeling of discouragement would rear its ugly head and wash over me over & over this week. Its a daily battle, I'm not going to lie or sugar-coat it. But He commands my strength & courage...therefore He will provide it. He commands that I not be terrified nor discouraged..and then promises to be with me wherever I go. Because He also knows, that I cannot go it alone. And by stating it here, amongst His commands, He is letting us know that He never intended us to take the next step without him.

(Jordan River)

AAA or Jesus???

This is how cool God is...

My son calls us from Florida today because his new (to him anyway) car broke down on his way to work. He's pretty upset, says he drove over a speed bump on a side street & the car literally just stopped. Car won't turn over, no lights, no radio...essentially, no power. When he bought the car a few months back, Norm & I decided we would purchase a AAA membership for him...just in case. However, due to extreme busyness in the AAA offices, they never forwarded his membership card. So, naturally, he has to call his dad. Norm gives him the AAA number, gets on the phone with AAA himself, gets Alex's membership number...Alex sits & waits for the truck to arrive.

Here's where it gets cool. While Alex is sitting & stewing in his broken-down car, now already late for work, his really good friend Todd pulls up. Alex was shocked! Surprised, he asks Todd, "What are you doing here. " Todd simply replies..."I don't know. I just had this strange feeling that you needed help and so I decided to get in my car & go look for you." Isn't that incredible?? What's particularly cool about this is, while Norm is calling AAA & doing all his dad things, mom is praying. I'm praying that God would send Alex some help. Also prayed that whatever was wrong with the car would be able to be fixed and that it wouldn't be expensive..because NONE of us have much money right now. So, not only does Todd find Alex, when Alex tells him what happened, Todd lifts the hood, wiggles some wires attached the battery and moved the battery around, got in the car & presto...it starts!! Alex's response to this is..."Todd!!!! What are you JESUS??!!!!" He excitedly calls to tell us this story & its at this point that I tell him that I had been praying for him. He's like, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME???!!!!" Hey, I'm his mom...that's what I do. He was so thrilled that he would be able to get himself to work & will, naturally, have someone take a look at the car so it doesn't happen again.

In my mind what's pretty cool too is that I KNOW it was killing Norm that he couldn't rush to his son's aid. So, isn't it really awesome that Alex's Father could? And bottom line, God got there faster than AAA ever could!

And as we were saying our good-byes with Alex on the phone, just before Norm clicked his phone shut...we overheard Alex say..."thank you Jesus". My sentiments exactly...

Fredonia it is....

Decision made... My daughter has agonized over the school choice for the past probably 7-8 months. After many discussions, walks around the internet as well as walks around campuses, she has chosen SUNY Fredonia as her college of choice. It really is a great campus, with a pretty awesome reputation. It suits her because its small (approximately 5,500 students), a low student/teacher ratio (approximately 25-1) and is only about 1 hour from home. She made the mature decision knowing that she will be starting school as a 17-year old, not knowing how she would handle being really far from home. This school fits her needs beautifully, has an awesome music program, which is something she would love to continue, and has a great reputation for its psychology department. And, as we all know, nothing has to be permanent. Should she decide to venture further from home down the road, that option will always be available to her. But for now, she is celebrating that monkey off her back, and is happy to know where her journey will be taking her this fall.

Thanks to all of you for your prayers for my girl. Much appreciated! Check out some sweet pics of the campus....

Fredonia basketball...
















Music programs...















Library...













Kings Hall Auditorium...























I just wonder where my room is..... ;)