As many of you know, we're getting ready to take our daughter to college in less than a week. Its kinda a funny expression, because I don't know how "ready" any of us really are. We've done the grad party, the college orientation, the dorm room shopping...we're as ready as we'll ever be, I guess. I'm sure to many the use of the word "we" is quite funny, since she's the one going & I'm essentially going to stay behind trying to figure out how to carry on life in a whole new way. Its funny when you're raising your family, you know the idea of your kids going away to college is "out there", but then it comes upon you sometimes like a freight train. Its not that we haven't talked about it, prayed about , prepared for it, celebrated it. Its just that now its actually here. And it changes everything. No more long conversations late at night hanging in my room, cuz she just needs to vent. No more leaving her a cup of hot tea early in the morning as she gets ready for school. No more juggling cars. No more planning meals for a family. Its just me & Norm. Strange thought. I'm a mother at heart & I think its the job I've always done best. So am I just getting laid off here? I don't think so. I think the job description has just changed. And yes, we're moving headlong into the next stage of life. If you see me, please don't call me an "empy nester", cuz we've heard it like 1,000 times now and it kinda hurts, to be honest.As with all things in life, we trust God with what's next. Again, I find myself in a place where I can't really peer around the corner to see what He has in store. But I am confident that He loves me, loves my family & knows my heart....better than anyone. He knows how much I love my children, love being a mom. I doubt that is going to end any time before I draw my last breath. But they will need me in a whole new way, I'm sure. I can't fully anticipate what that way is just yet, but I'm excited about the idea of a more mature relationship with adult children. That is something we've been building for years now.
No matter how hard it is, I'm so very proud of my children. Proud to know that they are confident enough in who they are to go out & try this next stage of their life on their own. Proud that they know they will always have the security of parents who love & care for them no matter what their address is. Proud that they ultimately belong to a Heavenly Father who will be with them...even when I can't be. All of it...each stage of this life is a precious gift. Whether they are newborns who need you for their very existence, or they are young children who need you to nurture & teach them. Or they are young adults, feeling their way in the world, needing to know that there is a safety net for them in the form of loving, caring parents.
So, one week. That's all that is left for having children officially living under my roof. Please pray for this stage of life for us. I have already experienced the pain that comes with it. I've also experienced the joy. But I still have to walk away...at some point...one last hug...then walk away. From my best friend, my daughter. That will be the toughest stage yet.
What's next?? God only knows. But I'm sure glad He does.
