When is the Past....Past?

Have you ever gone through something big, some life-changing event or situation, and found that you never quite moved past it? Even with all the well-meaning advice of those around you encouraging you to "move on", it was always an elusive concept? I've been watching my teenage daughter struggle to "let go" of a relationship for almost a year now. Seems inconceivable to me that a person or situation can have that kind of hold on one's life. But there it is. Stares her in the face every morning. Things remind her, people ask questions, and boom, she's right back where she started. The proverbial two steps forward, one step back. Is she making progress? I guess time will tell. Her youth doesn't make it easier because she doesn't have the gift of hindsight that her more experienced parents have. We know that hearts do heal, eventually. Like a badly skinned knee, it may always show the scar, but it will heal. All she knows is that it hurts...now...and there just doesn't seem to be a light at the end of this tunnel. I truly believe that her hearts' desire is to be done, to put it all behind her...but human emotion is a powerful thing. Thankfully, she has some amazing friends that have "been there" for her along the way, and I pray that she seeks God for the strength she lacks.

Recently, I had an extended family member question why Norm & I left EHWC. We haven't talked much about this situation with our families because its hard to explain. On the one hand you want to be honest and make your point so they understand it, on the other, you don't want to be one of those people found being vocally critical of a church or its pastor. Doesn't seem quite right to us to vent our pain "out there" for the general public...or even family members. We have the gift of close friends to share our frustrations with along the way when necessary, but for the most part, like our teenage daughter, we're trying to move on. This family member questioned us because apparently someone from the church (nice) filled her in on why she thought we left, you know, the popular opinion of an event, devoid of actual fact. The things shared were surprisingly hurtful. Just when I thought I was over something. Just when I truly believed I had moved on, there it was, staring me in the face. And it made me angry...all over again. Once again, I find myself having to give over my human emotions, hurts, frustrations to my God who loves me. Once again, I have to find it in my heart to forgive & to move on. I know I lack this gift, so I trust God to give me what it takes to forgive...and hopefully, eventually....forget.

My daughter's perspective, which is amazing because she's only 17, is that these are the events in our lives that shape who we are, and what we are to become. Essentially, we find out who we really are through these struggles & that God uses them to point us in the direction He wants us to go. Pretty deep stuff...especially when you're a teenage girl with a broken heart. Or maybe a more mature version in her mother. Its all the same...trust God and His plan. Leave the hurts to Him, let Him teach me how to forgive, keep my eyes on what's ahead. Looking back teaches me, but it sometimes hurts too much. I'm sure she'd agree. For her, she wants to study psychology when she heads to college next year. Makes perfect sense. For me, I'm not as clear. But I trust God to lead me where He wants me to go. I'm excited about the future...and desire with all my heart to leave the past exactly where it belongs...in the past.

The Good, the Bad & the Ugly.....

We just had an awesome weekend in Michigan visiting my brother & his family. One of those whirlwind get-aways that is filled to the max. On Saturday we had decided to check out the University of Michigan campus since both Sam & my nephew Adam are graduating this year and in the mode of college searching. The extra treat for the day were free, yes free, tickets to the U of M vs. Notre Dame football game. It was insane! Students everywhere, thousands of them! The campus itself is gorgeous, rich in tradition with beautiful old buildings covered in ivy...just what you'd imagine a college campus looking like. And, it is ranked one of the top state schools in the country. So, that's the "good".

The "bad" is the unbelievable whooping the U of M football team put on Notre Dame! A crushing 38-0 for the final score. The crowd, numbered at around 110,000, was crazed. The players are most definitely "bad", as was their student cheering section that stood the entire game...chanting, singing & waving their pom-poms in unison.


The "ugly"...well let's just say that I've always heard about frat houses, but other than watching "Animal House", have never witnessed the sight for myself. It was a sight to behold. Droves of students partying everywhere on campus, but most notably on the front lawns, porches, balconies, and yes, roofs of their frat houses. Some even climbing out of 2nd & 3rd story windows. Plenty of alcohol to go around to be sure & stereo speakers the size of compact cars booming in competition to the house next door. I'm disappointed to say that I have no pics of this spectacle, I think I was too much in awe to actually pull out my camera. Some of our group witnessed a girl throwing up into a cardboard box out on the street. I, thankfully, was fortunate enough to have missed this girl's proud moment.

So, this is college. I guess in today's culture you can't have one without the others. As my daughter tells me, you can't avoid it no matter where you go to school, it just comes down to your own personal choice. I pray she's making and will continue to make good ones. I've even had students from Christian colleges tell me about the partying going on there. No campus is immune.....again, its all about personal choice. We've got a lot to pray about. Temptation is a hard thing to battle when you're only 18 years old. You want them to have an awesome college experience, realizing that the cost could be more than just the price of tuition.

All in all....U of M is an amazing place...beauty everywhere & prestigious in its dispensing of education. You take it as it is....the good, the bad & the ugly.

"Me Mode" or "Christ Mode"???

This was sent to me by my good friend Isidore, it was an online devotional. Its also a great modern lesson on an ancient truth. And while the author's name is Dave, I'm pretty sure I could insert my name just as easily. How about yours?

WORKLIFE LESSON: WORKING IN CHRIST

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Thursday, August 30, 2007

My laptop is a Macintosh G3. The G3 is unique in that it can run on two different operating systems. It can run the new improved versions of OS X, but it can also still work in "Classic Mode" for software written for OS 9. My worklife is like my Mac G3; it must decide between two operating systems. This morning I had to think about how I was going to approach my week. According to the Apostle Paul, I can face the day in "Dave" mode or I can choose to work "in Christ."
"In Dave" mode is my default software. Paul called it my "flesh." If I just get up and go, I'm running in Dave. Dave is an old operating system I learned long ago. It feels comfortable. It gets me by.
Unfortunately, Dave is dysfunctional. It has many systems conflicts. It has its own protocols, so it is not very compatible with other computers. It is riddled with viruses that cause all kinds of problems. Dave worries about what others think and that bogs down its processor. Dave gets angry when a problem frustrates its path. Dave tries to run too many programs at once, opening up future issues and attempting to continually reprocess them. When Dave gets overwhelmed it locks up and goes into screen saver mode papering over its problems with a series of daydream scenes of a different imagined present. I don't recommend Dave as a system software. But I know you already have a unique corrupt version of your own.
"In Christ" is a new operating system that I own. In Christ, however, has none of Dave's issues. It is completely de-bugged and virus free. In Christ works because it was designed by my hardware manufacturer. It is what I was wired to run on. It is based on several radical applications.
The first is "Grace." Grace means a scrubbed hard-drive and the promise of unlimited future support. Grace is such a refreshing change from guilt-ridden and resource-strapped Dave.
Grace comes bundled with "Life." Life came to me through a complete inner restoration. It is a completely new processor. Life is what Dave lacked as an isolated unit. Life has spiritual connectivity.
Another is "forgiveness." Forgiveness is a utility that allows me to interface with other infected computers. It intercepts and absolves their faults. Dave could never do that. It always used other's flaws against them. Forgiveness extends to others the grace that it has received.
My favorite application of the "in Christ" office suite is "Adoption." Adoption is my God-given new identity. It is a completely new username and password. It gives me direct access to my designer. It means I can IM him any time I want. It means He IM's me when He's thinking of me. I no longer work alone. I have the ultimate ally with unlimited computing capability. I am eternally connected.
"In Christ" does not have the problems of "in Dave," but it must be manually installed. Sometimes I am just too lazy to go through the boot-up, and I run in Dave even though I know its hazards. So, which will it be today? What system will I choose to operate in?
This morning, as I logged onto my day, I was encouraged by something Paul wrote. Perhaps it will encourage you too:

"And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience.

Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging in the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were children of wrath, even as the rest.

But, God being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved) and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places, in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come he might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.

For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, that no one should boast.

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we would walk in them." (Eph. 2:1-10 NASB)