When is the Past....Past?

Have you ever gone through something big, some life-changing event or situation, and found that you never quite moved past it? Even with all the well-meaning advice of those around you encouraging you to "move on", it was always an elusive concept? I've been watching my teenage daughter struggle to "let go" of a relationship for almost a year now. Seems inconceivable to me that a person or situation can have that kind of hold on one's life. But there it is. Stares her in the face every morning. Things remind her, people ask questions, and boom, she's right back where she started. The proverbial two steps forward, one step back. Is she making progress? I guess time will tell. Her youth doesn't make it easier because she doesn't have the gift of hindsight that her more experienced parents have. We know that hearts do heal, eventually. Like a badly skinned knee, it may always show the scar, but it will heal. All she knows is that it hurts...now...and there just doesn't seem to be a light at the end of this tunnel. I truly believe that her hearts' desire is to be done, to put it all behind her...but human emotion is a powerful thing. Thankfully, she has some amazing friends that have "been there" for her along the way, and I pray that she seeks God for the strength she lacks.

Recently, I had an extended family member question why Norm & I left EHWC. We haven't talked much about this situation with our families because its hard to explain. On the one hand you want to be honest and make your point so they understand it, on the other, you don't want to be one of those people found being vocally critical of a church or its pastor. Doesn't seem quite right to us to vent our pain "out there" for the general public...or even family members. We have the gift of close friends to share our frustrations with along the way when necessary, but for the most part, like our teenage daughter, we're trying to move on. This family member questioned us because apparently someone from the church (nice) filled her in on why she thought we left, you know, the popular opinion of an event, devoid of actual fact. The things shared were surprisingly hurtful. Just when I thought I was over something. Just when I truly believed I had moved on, there it was, staring me in the face. And it made me angry...all over again. Once again, I find myself having to give over my human emotions, hurts, frustrations to my God who loves me. Once again, I have to find it in my heart to forgive & to move on. I know I lack this gift, so I trust God to give me what it takes to forgive...and hopefully, eventually....forget.

My daughter's perspective, which is amazing because she's only 17, is that these are the events in our lives that shape who we are, and what we are to become. Essentially, we find out who we really are through these struggles & that God uses them to point us in the direction He wants us to go. Pretty deep stuff...especially when you're a teenage girl with a broken heart. Or maybe a more mature version in her mother. Its all the same...trust God and His plan. Leave the hurts to Him, let Him teach me how to forgive, keep my eyes on what's ahead. Looking back teaches me, but it sometimes hurts too much. I'm sure she'd agree. For her, she wants to study psychology when she heads to college next year. Makes perfect sense. For me, I'm not as clear. But I trust God to lead me where He wants me to go. I'm excited about the future...and desire with all my heart to leave the past exactly where it belongs...in the past.