Dirty Jobs...

Have you seen this guy? His name is Mike Rowe and he has a TV series called "Dirty Jobs". He is amazing and fearless. He has proven that he is not afraid to take on any challenge that is put before him. I've seen him clean sewers, snip the tips of pigs tails off when they're born, and even artificially inseminate a cow. From the smelliest to the slimiest, he jumps right in. The premise is that real people send him a challenge to come work with them, doing their "dirty job" for one day. So, I'm thinking of challenging him to take on my dirty job...being the mother of a teenage girl! Now, don't get me wrong, I love my girl with my whole heart, and she much of the time can be one of my best friends. She's smart, funny, sarcastic...(sound familiar??) and I love her more than my own life. What I'm talking about are the heartaches, the challenges, the flying-by-the-seat-of-your-pants moments that you feel utterly unprepared for. Even this guy gets an expert to work alongside, giving him all kinds of tips, suggestions, encouragements, making sure he doesn't screw it up or hurt himself. Where oh where is that expert for the parent of a teen?

Now, I don't want to be one of those adults that becomes a "teen basher", I happen to really love teens. But if you genuinely want to raise a responsible, well-balanced, Godly adult, you've just got to put the dirty time in. I refer to this as "being in the trenches" right alongside her. I've witnessed parents of teens simply look the other way when things get tough because honestly it might just be a whole lot easier. Or they over-simplify it all by saying "they're teenagers, they'll grow out of it." I just don't buy that. In this day in age, perhaps in any day in age, I think that is dangerous thinking. There is too much at stake for me to simply "check out" at this pivotal point in her life. Believe me, sometimes its tempting to just look the other way, it certainly would be a lot less stressful. But do I sacrifice her future, her well being for my serenity? Not a fair trade-off by a long shot. I'm one of "those moms". You know, the ones that have to know where you are, who you're with, when you'll be home. I've had the talks, spent many hours of one-on-one time with my teens, and most certainly have prayed, prayed, prayed for them. And you know what? I've learned there are no guarantees. Some people just have to learn life lessons on their own, they must make the mistakes in order to find the strength to do it better next time. As a parent, it is the most gut wrenching experience you can ever imagine, watching your teen, teetering on the brink of adulthood, make such mistakes. You fear that one day, those mistakes may go beyond the normal teen foolishness, and actually affect the path of their lives. I've seen it even in the best of Christian homes. I've seen those weary eyed parents who you know have been awake half the night, not because their infant was teething, but because their teen is out with the car past curfew or hanging with the wrong crowd. I have acquired more gray hair than I'd like to admit in recent years!

But I am DETERMINED to hang in there with this most challenging of beautiful people. Because she's worth it. She's worth the stress that comes from being involved in her life, problems and all. She's worth my resisting to take on a full time job just yet because I know that being here for her after school is just as important now as it was when she was in 3rd grade. She's worth the effort it takes to love on her and build her up, instead of giving into the harsh words that build up and try to push themselves at her in the heat of the moment. I won't do it. I value her heart, her soul, her mind, her future too much to tear her down for her mistakes. Don't get me wrong, there is always discipline, because there is always consequence. But to deal with the action while refusing to tear down the person, that's the balancing act. I think of Christ's example to us. While he clearly told the woman caught in adultery to go & sin no more, he refused to let other's stone her. Even He, He without sin, who would be the only one in attendance who could pick up that stone, refused to tear her down. Have you ever heard a parent speak harshly to their child when you're out in public? It breaks my heart. The child, no matter what the age, looks so humiliated. I know that sometimes we witness the child speaking harshly to the parent, but the operative word is they are the child. As the adult in the situation, I believe it is our job to exercise self-control. I'm pretty sure that Galatians would back that up.

Its hard work, to be sure, but the moment I gave birth to her, I made that commitment to always be there for her, to do all in my power to love & care for her, and to raise her in the most positive, Godly environment I could possibly provide. I know that I have not always succeeded, like her, I make mistakes. But my daughter knows she is loved & valued in her home. I believe it will be the thing that will ultimately bring her out strong on the other side of this tumultuous time in her life. But my strongest hope, is that it will be the best example in her life of the unconditional love of her Father. For her to be completely sold out to the One who died in her place, is the ultimate reward for me as her mother. So, I get my hands dirty; I get involved; I sacrifice every day of my life. She's worth it. I'm certain He feels the same way too. Take that Mike...

"The Pajama Game"....

Over this past weekend, Sam was in her 4th and last musical at Williamsville South High School. It was called the "Pajama Game", one of those corny plays from the 50's. It was really adorable & the kids did an amazing job. They sang, danced, acted, created sets, put together costumes, did all the stage crew & have been rehearsing since November. The end result was so much fun for us, the faithful audience. Its hard to believe that this will be our last time to watch our girl on the "big stage", and we've thoroughly enjoyed every minute. Thought you might appreciate some shots that were taken by one of the dad's. He created a website so we could download them for free (since no flash photography is permitted in the auditorium). The last few pics were hers from back stage. Such a great experience for her and for all the kids....and for a few proud parents too! Enjoy....

Am I Weird, or What??? Love the Storms...

I have to admit to this strange thing about me...I LOVE a good storm. To me, there's nothing more exciting than a sky that turns really dark, indicating a storm is imminent. Sometimes wind, thunder & lightening, rain or snow. Ooooh!! Today's storm is no different. Being awakened at 6:20 a.m. by an excited teenager announcing those words we ALL love to hear...."NO SCHOOL TODAY!!" It feels like when I was in school myself, I get just as excited over a good snow day now. The idea that we're all tucked safe & cozy inside while the world storms outside, is simply delicious! And I guess because I live in Buffalo I am of the feeling that if winter is going to be cold anyway, we might as well have some snow. I really do love winter (except when it extends itself into what should be the spring). Can I even go so far as to admit that when the sun tried its best to poke out today, I felt disappointed! Yeah, I know...weird. I suppose I wouldn't fare too well living in Florida....who could stand living in a place called, "The Sunshine State"...yuck! Too much pressure! And don't you always feel when the sun is shining that you just HAVE to get out there & "do something"?? Today, I felt obligated to do nothing. Most everything is closed, my daughter's home from school...time for a cup of tea & a good movie, time to just take a time out. Tomorrow, I'm sure everything will be back to normal, and life will resume its fast pace, but for today.....I'm chillin. And loving every minute of it....

(These are all shots from around my yard)

Roots, Part II

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,

whose confidence is in Him.

He will be like a tree planted by the water

that sends out its roots by the stream.

It does not fear when heat comes;

its leaves are always green.

It has no worries in a year of drought,

and never fails to bear fruit."

Jeremiah 17:7-8

As promised, here is the second devotional I found on the subject of roots. It was, in fact the one I had wanted to share initially, til I found that sweet story of the doctor & his trees. This particular devotional is designed as a prayer, from the heart of a mother to her Lord. As I read it, I felt it described the desires for my own heart... as a mother, a friend. Read on...

"Good Roots" - by Marjorie Holmes

Help me to give my children good roots, God.

As I work with my plants I can see that the sturdiest, and those which bear most freely, are those whose roots go deep, gripping rich soil; they have a base from which they can grow tall and beautiful and sound.

Let this household furnish that kind of soil for my family, God. Enriched with good music, good books, good talk, good taste. But above all, goodness of spirit. Goodness of action.

So that those who come here feel welcome, and those who leave here feel warm. And those who live here know, in every fiber of their beings, that they belong to people who, for all our faults, are good people. People of decency and honor, who would not willingly hurt or cheat any living thing.

Let my children grow freely, God, in whatever direction their nature directs. But give them root strength too. So that they will never deviate too far from their own beginnings.

Help me to give my children good roots.

Roots, Part I

Here is a devotion I came across on the subject of "Roots"....spoke loud & clear to me as a mother. It also spoke to me as a daugther of my Lord. See what you think...

Interestingly, I also came across a devotion in my own bible time today on the same subject, I will share that another day. I always love it when God makes His message to me clear!

"Growing Roots" -by Philip Gulley

Had an old neighbor when I was growing up named Doctor Gibbs. He didn't look like any doctor I'd ever known. Every time I saw him, he was wearing denim overalls and a straw hat, the front brim of which was green sunglass plastic. He smiled a lot, a smile that matched his hat -- old and crinkly and well-worn. He never yelled at us for playing in his yard. I remember him as someone who was a lot nicer than circumstances warranted. When Doctor Gibbs wasn't saving lives, he was planting trees. His house sat on ten acres, and his life-goal was to make it a forest. The good doctor had some interesting theories concerning plant husbandry. He came from the "No pain, no gain" school of horticulture. He never watered his new trees, which flew in the face of conventional wisdom. Once I asked why, he said that watering plants spoiled them, and that if you water them, each successive tree generation will grow weaker and weaker. So you have to make things rough for them and weed out the weenie trees early on. He talked about how watering trees made for shallow roots, and how trees that weren't watered had to grow deep roots in search of moisture. I took him to mean that deep roots were to be treasured. So he never watered his trees. He'd plant an oak and, instead of watering it every morning, he'd beat it with a rolled up newspaper. Smack! Slap! Pow! I asked him why he did that, and he said it was to get the tree's attention.

Doctor Gibbs went to glory a couple years after I left home. Every now and again, I walk by his house and look at the trees that I'd watched him plant some twenty-five years ago. They're granite strong now -- big and robust. Those trees wake up in the morning and beat their chests and drink their coffee black.

I planted a couple trees a few years back. Carried water to them for a solid summer. Sprayed them. Prayed over them. The whole nine yards. Two years of coddling has resulted in trees that expect to be waited on hand and foot. Whenever a cold wind blows in, they tremble and chatter their branches. Sissy trees. Funny thing about those trees of Doctor Gibbs. Adversity and deprivation seemed to benefit them in ways comfort and ease never could.

Every night before I go to bed, I go check on my two sons. I stand over them and watch their little bodies, the rising and falling of life within. I often pray for them. Mostly I pray that their lives will be easy "Lord, spare them from hardship." But lately I've been thinking that it's time to change my prayer. Has to do with the inevitability of cold winds that hit us at the core. I know my children are going to encounter hardship, and my praying they won't is naive. There's always a cold wind blowing somewhere.

So I'm changing my eventide prayer. Because life is tough, whether we want it to be or not. Instead, I'm going to pray that my sons' roots grow deep, so they can draw strength from the hidden sources of the eternal God. Too many times we pray for ease, but that's a prayer seldom met. What we need to do is pray for roots that reach deep into the Eternal, so when the rains fall and the winds blow, we won't be swept asunder.

Joy...

So my dear friend Deidra asked me to join her for a women's event at the Chapel last night called "Death by Chocolate". Admittedly, I was hesitant to go, not sure if I'm ready for all that "joining in" just yet. What a dork I can be! The night consisted of chocolate (lovely), worship (lovelier) and a very funny guest speaker from the south named Jackie Kendall (loveliest). And the fact that I got to go with Didi was the icing on the cake! The subject of the night was "Joy". Yeah, my ears were perking up. Haven't felt much of that lately. But those of us who are followers of Christ know that joy & happiness are not the same thing. We know that happiness is completely dependent on our circumstances, like I'll be happy if I could just have __________ (you fill in the blank). Joy, on the other hand, comes from belief that God loves you always and that He freely gave His Son in our place. Its a supernatural expression that I can rest in the arms of my Creator and be filled with His peace & joy, despite my circumstances. Its knowing that all these things we worry about today will be gone tomorrow. Everything except my relationship with Him. That was a good word for me to hear. She spoke of things that rob of us of our joy. Things like fear, jealousy, worry, busyness and outright being dissatisfied with God. (None of us experience those emotions, do we????) Joy comes from spending time in the presence of Jesus who loves me enough to die for me. Why wouldn't that fill me to overflowing with joy?? Its a mystery, but sometimes I just don't feel joyful. And that's where I've messed up. Again, joy is not dependent on my circumstances.

Psalm 28:7 says: "The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." Amen to that! I need to continually be praising, worshiping, loving & connecting with my Savior. Pastor Jerry has been talking about these things as well, continually reiterating the absolute necessity to take solitude with the Lord & to be focused on His Kingdom above all else. I think that would even include my life circumstances. We think about His Word "seek first the Kingdom of God", and think that it means don't put worldly desires or ambitions ahead of Him. But, as in my case, sometimes we can even put our sorrows before Him. THAT will most assuredly steal my joy. That's not the kind of daughter (of the King) I want to be. And I'm sure I wouldn't be much fun to be around either! Needless to say, between Jerry's preachings these last couple of weeks & Jackie's last night, I can honestly say to God..."okay, I get it!!" To which He would likely reply, "Then go live it..." I intend to...

Standing on the Edge...in Faith

To be perfectly honest, I have been avoiding writing a new blog because I wanted to start the new year off with a mindset of complete optimism & a sense of being up-beat. As we're heading into our second week of January, 2008, I don't think I am possessing any of those mind-sets, at least not on a very consistent basis. Now that's not to say that I am giving up nor is it saying that I'm not 100% trusting that God will come through for us, but it is to say that my humanness is sometimes getting the better of me & I will admit that some days its a little hard to get out of bed in the morning. But, alas, arise I do & will continue to do so, as long as I take each day as a faith walk. I guess the best thing I could share with you at this time is some of the sweet Words of God that are sustaining me. I know there are thousands more that would apply to my life right now, but for now, these are the ones speaking most to my heart.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:8-10

" Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:4-9

"I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:12-13

""For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Life has many challenges for my family right now and I'm struggling to be the devoted wife & mother that I am called to be. I guess I need to understand that first & foremost I am a daughter not just of earthly parents, but also of my Heavenly Father. This same Father has cared for me in more ways than I can ever count, and it is because of this, that I persevere. It is because I trust that He truly does have a "hope & a future" for me and my family, that I can rest. And I pray that one day my faith will allow me the privilege of sharing the awesome testimony of His faithfulness that I trust is headed our way. He also knows what its like to be broken hearted & tells us - "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin." (Hebrews 4:15) He created human emotion so I refuse to feel guilt for the broken heart. But, I need to lean on His strength, trust His abilities, rely on His love, walk in His wisdom, each & every day. That's all I know to do. And its not easy at times. And the broken heart remains...but be sure its down but not out!